Archive for December, 2010

From the Lit­tle-seen Christ­mas Spe­cial Are You Racist, Char­lie Brown?

Five-year-old black girl: Let’s play I spy!
Six-year-old black girl: I spy… Some­thing brown!
Five-year-old black girl: The chair!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: The door!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: Us!
Six-year-old black girl: No… We’re black, stu­pid!

–Wait­ing Room, Eye & Ear Hos­pi­tal

If Pinoc­chio Had Been Set in New York City

(crick­et chirps)
An­gry-look­ing woman #1: Yo, I think that crick­et said some­thin’
(crick­et chirps)
An­gry-look­ing woman #2: Hold on, I think that bitch is sayin’ some shit!
An­gry-look­ing woman #1, look­ing for crick­et: You wan­na start some­thin? No­body be talk­ing shit about me.
An­gry-look­ing woman #2: Let’s fuck this bitch up.

–Roo­sevelt Is­land

The Anal Rape You Can Still Be Up­set About– Deal?

Crazy guy run­ning up to ran­dom stu­dent: I go to this guy for those peanuts they sell on the side of the street, I say “how much?” He tells me $1.50, so I start walk­ing away, and he says one dol­lar. I went to state pen for ten years, and this is how I get treat­ed?
Stu­dent: It’s just peanuts man, you got­ta let it go.

–59th St & Lex­ing­ton