Girl ballerina: Have you seen The Taking of Pelham 123?
Boy ballerina: No. What is that about?
Girl: It’s like… about two guys who hijack a 6 train.
–L Train
Overheard by: desmond barro
Archive for 2010
…Which Is Really a Metaphor for Life, If You Think About It.
Metalhead #1, holding ice cream with fruit punch stain: Shit, am I bleeding?
Metalhead #2: Uhhh… No.
Metalhead #1: Then why is my ice cream red?
Metalhead #3: Dude, you’re eating ice cream and drinking Hawaiian Punch.
–Irving Plaza
Overheard by: A metalhead
From the Little-seen Christmas Special Are You Racist, Charlie Brown?
Five-year-old black girl: Let’s play I spy!
Six-year-old black girl: I spy… Something brown!
Five-year-old black girl: The chair!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: The door!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: Us!
Six-year-old black girl: No… We’re black, stupid!
–Waiting Room, Eye & Ear Hospital
Please, Sir, May I Have More?
Bartender to 20-something man: What’s your name? I’ll start a tab.
20-something man: Oliver.
Old man at bar: Oliver Twist… People ever call you Oliver Twist? (laughs)
20-something man: Old people always do. Newer people don’t.
–Pizzaria, 86th & 3rd
Overheard by: kat
I Tried Jumping, but Without Success
Woman to stranger: Do you know how to get on the High Line?
Man: No, I never use it.
–Chelsea, Under the High Line
Overheard by: Cheryl
If Pinocchio Had Been Set in New York City
(cricket chirps)
Angry-looking woman #1: Yo, I think that cricket said somethin’
(cricket chirps)
Angry-looking woman #2: Hold on, I think that bitch is sayin’ some shit!
Angry-looking woman #1, looking for cricket: You wanna start somethin? Nobody be talking shit about me.
Angry-looking woman #2: Let’s fuck this bitch up.
–Roosevelt Island
MJ: The Universal Language
Husky male employee, singing along to radio in high pitch voice: “I’m looking at the man in the mirror…“
Female employee passing by: Sing it!
Husky male employee: I’m trying!
–K‑Mart, Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
And Then There’s the Heroin…
Skinny girl: Ohmigod, I should be like a plus-size model!
Skinnier girl: You look great!
Skinny girl: You are sooo skinny! What do you do?
Skinnier girl: I don’t eat more than like a thousand calories a day.
–Elevator, MSG Suites
The Anal Rape You Can Still Be Upset About– Deal?
Crazy guy running up to random student: I go to this guy for those peanuts they sell on the side of the street, I say “how much?” He tells me $1.50, so I start walking away, and he says one dollar. I went to state pen for ten years, and this is how I get treated?
Student: It’s just peanuts man, you gotta let it go.
–59th St & Lexington
…Or Just Suck on Its Exhaust Pipe?
Kindly stranger: Where do you want to go?
Lost couple: The Jersey Gardens outlet mall.
Kindly stranger: Do you want to take the bus?
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Tim
