Archive for 2010

The Gasman Promised to Use His Powers Only for Good

7‑year-old boy: I can beat you up in a fight!
Mom: Oh, Lord, here we go…
7‑year-old boy: What?
Mom: I said “Oh, Lord, here we go”!
7‑year-old boy: I can beat you in fight! You said so yourself!
Mom: When?
7‑year-old boy: You said my farts could kill people!
Mom: That’s right, even in a hurricane.

–7th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: EVB

This Would Make an Awesome Screenplay

Woman #1, seated at bar in restaurant: My daughter told me she was going to finish med school, then her internship, and then her residency… but before going into practice she was going to take time off to “follow her dream.“
Woman #2, seated at bar: What’s her dream?
Woman #1: To become a professional wrestler.

–Restaurant, West Village

The Truth Shall Set Wednesday One-Liners Free

Young suit on cell while at bar with coworkers: Yeah, I’m still at work right now, I’ll call you when I’m done.

–The Dubliner Bar

Overheard by: Keekz

Young woman on cell: Hi, dad… Yeah, I’m in New York… Yes, I’m at Grand Central, I just got off the train.

–JFK Taxi Stand

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

Earnest man on cell: Yes, no, I’m driving there. I’ll be there in ten minutes. What? That’s a passenger. Ten to twelve minutes… Hello? I can’t talk, I don’t have a headset.

–B Train

Overheard by: Emily

Skanky girl on cell walking down street at fairly slow pace: I’m like, running.

–7th Ave & 47th St

Overheard by: Serena