Dra­ma queen: So we’re so right for each oth­er and we stayed up, like, for­ev­er talk­ing, and then he kissed me. But don’t get too ex­cit­ed; there’s a huge prob­lem.
Un­in­ter­est­ed friend: Mmm-hm?
Dra­ma queen: He’s a Mor­mon. Like, his whole fam­i­ly is Mor­mon, and he kind of sort of be­lieves in all that crap with the gold­en plates.
Un­in­ter­est­ed friend, sud­den­ly in­ter­est­ed: God­damn! Just when you think you’ve met the per­fect guy, you find out that he’s a Mor­mon. Shit. I tell you, those moth­er­fuck­ers are every­where!

–Star­bucks, Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: Ac­tu­al­ly, more like mul­ti­ple-teenage-girl fuck­ers, but that just does­n’t have the same ring.