White hobo, descending from second floor: Hey! (entire restaurant freezes) Yo, fellas–stay black.
(complete silence)
Black guy: Yo, man–stay white.
–Burger King, Herald Square
Archive for 2010
If Only the Streets Had Signs
Tourist guy looking at map: We have to find 7th Avenue. The tour guide said it was on 7th Avenue.
Tourist lady: I know, but it’s also in Times Square, so we should go there first.
–7th Ave & 43rd St
Overheard by: DawllyLlama
Some Girls Just Shouldn’t Wear Booty Shorts
Girl #1: Where are your testicles today?
Girl #2: (stares at her)
Girl #1: Oh, fuck. I meant “spectacles”.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Pretending They’re Good Is Beyond Me
Queer #1: So, I was invited for vegan cupcakes tomorrow.
Queer #2: Ew!
Queer #1: I know. I don’t want to have to get up that early for vegan cupcakes.
–Christopher St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Colleen
Four Of Those Times Were Totally Other People’s Faults
Punk teenager to girlfriend, watching ambulance pass: See, those people are good, they save lives.
Punk girlfriend: Yeah, yours. How many times now?
Punk boyfriend, offended: That’s not funny.
–McKibbon Sreet, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rachel
Hard to Imagine How the World Got Overpopulated
Woman #1, seeing movie slide that read, “good karma, save Darfur”: That’s horrible to save Darfur so that you improve your karma.
Woman #2: Yeah, and you know another good reason not to save Darfur? Because it’s so trendy right now.
Woman #1: Yeah, there are a lot of other people that need saving.
–Angelika Theater
Well, I Run Into Her Online.
Woman #1: It’s so weird that I keep running into her!
Woman #2: I know! Especially since she lives in Dallas.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: eavesdropper
1st-World Ethnic Cleansing
Man: What’s “gentrification”?
Woman: It’s the process by which gritty neighborhoods turn nice.
–Bryant Park
A Load Of Manhattan Schist
Visiting bimbo, about giant rock formation in Central Park: So, are these real or were they flown in?
Local bimbo: Oh, I’ll have to research that, but I think it’s a little from column A, a little from column B.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Ed
You’ll Have Something to Put on the “Missing” Posters
7‑year-old little sister: Why do you like taking all those pictures of yourself?
14-year-old big sister: It’s called “MySpace”, duh!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Annifer
