Girl to drunk friend: You are drunk!
Friend: No! I am a human being!
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Emm
Archive for 2010
Otherwise Known As a “Tree”?
Drunk girl in green #1: I'm not shit-faced.
Drunk girl in green #2: No? Then what are you?
Drunk girl in green #1: Oh! A green truck!
–Park Ave & 34th St
Overheard by: I saw it too.
Here's Barbra Streisand to Explain
Girl #1: Can you hear music up your nose?
Girl #2: That is the most amazing thing you have ever said.
–Bard High School
Overheard by: Sunny
Crazy Just Smells Different
Friend #1: Are you sure she was drunk? Because she is not the most normal person when she is sober.
Friend #2: She was drunk, I know the difference.
Friend #1: Wow! That takes talent.
–238th & Broadway
Overheard by: Emm
Sometimes It's Good to Be Autistic
Smiley man: How you feelin'? How you feelin'?
Little girl: Who's that?
Mom: That was just a nice man sitting on the sidewalk saying hello.
Little girl: Really?
Mom: Yeah, he was talking to you.
–14th St & University Place
Overheard by: Alexandra
Danny DeVito Is Awesome
Girl #1: My friend looks like a penguin.
Girl #2: Like seriously, black and white?
Girl #1: He even owns a full body penguin costume.
–Washington Square
Raise Your Hand If You Want to Buy This Dude a Beer
Tourist man to tourist wife: Look at that sign: “No honking, $350 fine.”
Sane-looking New Yorker: It's unreal, isn't it, how the government continues to discriminate against geese? No justice, no peace.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Richard Nixon
The Kind Only Disney's Kingdom Can Provide
Hungover girl #1: I remember you saying you were going to vomit.
Hungover girl #2: Yeah, I said “I'm gonna vomit.” and you said “me too. I just made out with Tony.” And I said “no, I'm actually going to vomit.”
Hungover guy: And then we threw up at the same time. It was like magic.
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Have a good night?
Nobody Wins a Poo-Flinging Contest
Girl #1, after flinging poo-filled plastic bag at girl #2: You're lucky that missed you.
(girl #2 picks up the warm, poo-filled bag and takes aim at girl #1)
Girl #1: Whatever, go ahead. I don't care if it hits me because it's my dog's shit.
–Astoria
Overheard by: TheOneTruePax
Chairman Mao: Dammit!
Woman #1: I like your outfit. It would have been great in red.
Woman #2: But you know, red is so stereotyped!
Woman #1: For what?
Woman #2: For drag queens.
–N Train