Archive for 2010

Be­cause Oba­ma To­tal­ly Seems Like the Type Of Guy Who Lis­tens to Rap

Obese black man #1 play­ing loud ob­scene rap song: What she look­ing at? (points to two old Russ­ian women at the front of bus) Man, these white peo­ple. Don’t they know this is a free fuckin’ coun­try?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I’m tellin you, now that Oba­ma’s elect­ed, white peo­ple are gonna know what the fuck­’s up.

–Q63 Bus

Over­heard by: file­me­un­der

There’s No Mon­ey in Rolling Corpses Any­more

De­liv­ery truck man #1: You know what’s great at that Chi­nese spot?
De­liv­ery truck man #2: What?
De­liv­ery truck man #1: Their pork dumplings.
De­liv­ery truck man #2: I’ll tell you what.
De­liv­ery truck man #1: What?
De­liv­ery truck man #2: That’s def­i­nite­ly not kosher.
(they laugh)
De­liv­ery truck man #1: But wait if I take it to a rab­bi to bless, can it be­come kosher?
De­liv­ery truck man #2: Good ques­tion.
De­liv­ery truck man #1: Yeah… Wow! We are on the right side of the fer­ry, re­mem­ber when the right side was for on­ly coke­heads and weed­heads, and your moth­er would say “don’t go on the right side of the fer­ry” and peo­ple used to OD and you would find dead bod­ies? Those were the days!

–Stat­en Is­land Fer­ry