Archive for 2010

And That, My Friend Is Why Di­ver­si­ty Is Good

Black girl #1, as she pass­es a white cou­ple mak­ing out in the mid­dle of the side­walk: Dude, that’s where I got the idea to have sex in the park.
Black girl #2: What?
Black girl #1: Well, I did­n’t get the idea from black peo­ple.
(black girl #2 laughs)
Black girl #1: What? Lots of peo­ple have sex in the park.

–Broad­way & Spring

Over­heard by: I love peo­ple.….

Some Wednes­day One-Lin­ers to Make You Lose Your Ap­petite

Guy on cell: It’s not like I take my ear wax, put it on my pe­nis, and use it as lube.

–Queens

Over­heard by: Jess

Friends on stoop: Bro, did you see that ass? I would lick the fart out that ass!

–19th & 6th

Mid­dle-aged yup­pie, about club in Las Ve­gas: And I said “here’s our check, and if an­oth­er pu­bic hair falls in our drink, you’re in trou­ble!”

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Scott

Boy in car to mom: Hey mom, what about anal leak­age?

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Bren­na

Guy to friend: She said she was stressed out study­ing for fi­nals, I did­n’t re­al­ize that meant she had­n’t been show­er­ing. As soon as I got there we start­ed “hit­ting it”. It was too late when I re­al­ized how dirty she was. Dude, I lit­er­al­ly licked a lay­er of crust off her.

–3rd St b/w Ave A & B

Over­heard by: saf­fro­sun

10 Wednes­days I One-Lin­er About You

Ex­treme­ly ag­gres­sive man, shout­ing and point­ing at woman on cell: Do not! Ever! Re­fer to me as from fuck­ing Bal­ti­more! I fuck­ing hate Bal­ti­more!

–2nd Ave & 4th St

Fe­male stu­dent, anx­ious­ly, to male friend: I don’t know who they are, but I’m pret­ty sure I don’t like ’em!

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: eter­nal stu­dent

Fly­er guy: Would you like to see a com­e­dy..? Oh, it’s you again! Why do you hate me?

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Sara

Hobo to passers-by: Join the He-Man woman haters club! Free mem­ber­ship!

–Park Ave & 31st St

Lit­tle boy, point­ing with dis­gust at pic­ture of Jay Leno on hot drink sleeve: Is this George Wash­ing­ton? I hate him!

–Hot’n’Crusty, Up­per West Side