Girl in truly ridiculous dress: I am a strong, independent woman! I don’t need a man in my life!
Friend: Amy*, you’re wearing pink and ruffles.
–Lincoln Center
Archive for 2010
Isn’t That a Duchy?
Tween boy #1: He’s such a douche!
Tween boy #2: Yeah, totally!… What is a “douche” anyway?
Tween boy #1: I think it’s an old Dutch woman.
–6th Ave & 4th St
Overheard by: Lezbotron
You’ve Never Been to the Village on a Saturday Night?
JAP #1: It’s like seeing a midget in drag.
JAP #2: Oh, I’ve always wanted to see that.
–35th St & Lexington
Mattel’s “Fuck Math” Barbie Has Been Wildly Successful
Little boy to sister: What’s the perimeter of a rectangle?
Sister: Big foot!!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
On the Third Day, It Rises
Born again Christian missionary: Do accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
Power-suited woman: Do you accept my clitoris as yours?
–F Train
Overheard by: Formfaktor
You Have to Admire His Consistency
Crazy guy: The Islamic Antichrist is coming! The Islamic Antichrist is coming! (passes sheet to young guy next to him)
Young guy, reviewing it: Jesus, this guy hates everybody!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Jack Ingoldsby
John Often Falls for Online Phishing Scams
Short girl, trying to reach a shelf: John*, I need your height.
John*: I’m 6′2″.
–112th St & Central Park West
…In the True Spirit Of Easter.
Teen skater #1: Dude, I wanted to chill on Easter but my mom said I had to go to church.
Teen skater #2: You should’ve said “mom, fuck church!“
Teen skater #1: Dude, if I had said “fuck,” I wouldn’t be alive. I would’ve been under the couch. My mama would’ve stuffed me in a bag… Put some incense on that shit so it wouldn’t smell.
–6 Train
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
That Old Excuse?
Girl: You’re leaving?
Guy: Yeah, I have to go watch the game with my dealer.
–West Village
Flying a Plane Into Something Is Always the Answer
Male office drone #1: So what do you think of them building a mosque by the World Trade Center?
Female office drone #1: I feel it’s disrespectful. I have Muslim friends and I know they’re not all terrorists, but there’s mourning families to think about.
Male office drone #2: Why don’t we put a statue of Hitler in Times Square? There might be some Germans who would want to pray to him.
Female office drone #2: Let them put up a mosque there and then fly a plane into it. Show them how it feels. (others look shocked) Not a manned plane, you know. One of those drones.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Lower Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
