Excited young children: Look, it’s a polar bear!!!
Jaded mother, in thick New York accent: Get a good look; they’re not going to be in the world much longer.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Sarah
Archive for 2010
Jesus Wept.
Girl #1: I have a 19.5% rate on my credit card, I don’t know what that means.
Girl #2: I thought students didn’t need to pay any interest.
–6 Train
Overheard by: DanInTheCity
Unless I Wore the Ronald Reagan Mask.
Guy trying to sell condoms with Obama on them: Obama condoms, folks! Only $5!
Teenage girl #1: I bet those are good for hard times!
Teenage girl #2: That’s the kind of stimulus package I’m talkin’ bout!
Teenage girl #1: Oh my god! You should get some for you and Bobby!
Teenage girl #2: No way! He’s a Republican! He wouldn’t fuck me for a whole week if I asked him to wear one!!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: i bought 2 of those.
Will This Suffice?
Woman, seeing Richard Simmons: Oh my god!
Richard Simmons, turning around: Oh my god!! I love you so much!
Woman, walking away: If I had a Twitter account I would so tweet that shit.
–City Hall
Overheard by: Commander Xander
At Least She’s Stopped Barking.
Woman to girl crumpled on the floor, shaking: You okay?
Girl: Yeah… Yeah.
Woman: I like your dog.
Girl: Yeah… Yeah…
Woman: Yeah, my friend Chris got like 20 of them.
Girl: 20 chihuahuas?
Woman: 20 of them.
Girl: Fuck! Shit!… Fuckshit!
–L Train
Ur Fir3d
Band dude #1: So… How do we break it to him?
Band dude #2: Buy him an iPhone?
–Broadway & Leonard
Overheard by: P. Mills
Next Guy in Line: “Laid!”
Old man: Wait–what you think you doing? This here’s the line!
Lady in nurse scrubs: I just want to get a passport application.
Old man: Well, I just want to get a box. Everybody in this line just wants to get something.
(turns to next person in line)
Old man: What you want to get?
Next person in line: Some stamps.
Following person in line: A money order.
Old man: See, honey–they all just want to get something!
–Post Office, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Tigertail
…It’s 4:20 Somewhere.
Middle-aged woman to 20-something guy hand-rolling a cigarette: You know, it looks like you’re rolling a joint there.
Guy, laughing: Little early in the day for that, don’t you think?
Middle-aged woman: Not for me.
–49th St & Madison Ave
For That, and for Wearing Those Horrid Tasseled Loafers.
Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.
Girl friend: That’s why you’re gonna die tomorrow.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Glory
DiCaprio?
Husband: I can never remember the name of the other one. There’s D’Artagnan, Aramis, and Porthos. I always want to call the last guy “Pathos,” but I know that’s not it.
Wife: Isn’t it Leonardo?
Husband: No, that’s one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
–55th St & Madison Ave
