Archive for 2010

Un­less I Wore the Ronald Rea­gan Mask.

Guy try­ing to sell con­doms with Oba­ma on them: Oba­ma con­doms, folks! On­ly $5!
Teenage girl #1: I bet those are good for hard times!
Teenage girl #2: That’s the kind of stim­u­lus pack­age I’m talkin’ bout!
Teenage girl #1: Oh my god! You should get some for you and Bob­by!
Teenage girl #2: No way! He’s a Re­pub­li­can! He would­n’t fuck me for a whole week if I asked him to wear one!!

–Bat­tery Park

Over­heard by: i bought 2 of those.

Next Guy in Line: “Laid!

Old man: Wait–what you think you do­ing? This here’s the line!
La­dy in nurse scrubs: I just want to get a pass­port ap­pli­ca­tion.
Old man: Well, I just want to get a box. Every­body in this line just wants to get some­thing.
(turns to next per­son in line)
Old man: What you want to get?
Next per­son in line: Some stamps.
Fol­low­ing per­son in line: A mon­ey or­der.
Old man: See, honey–they all just want to get some­thing!

–Post Of­fice, Bed-Stuy

Over­heard by: Tiger­tail