Archive for 2010

Tonight’s Movie: They’re Just Not That In­to Jew

White man: Oba­ma’s let­tin’ in all the Jews, man! I’m tellin’ you–1.25 mil­lion Jews! This park is gonna be over­run with Jews!
Woman with swasti­ka tat­too: When I was in jail… (in­audi­ble) gan­grene… (in­audi­ble) ele­phan­ti­a­sis of the foot!

–Union Square Park

Over­heard by: He­lene

Mock­ing Nerds: The Uni­ver­sal Lan­guage.

En­gi­neer on PA: Check the back door, check the back door, we’ve got a red light.
Con­duc­tor, in very geeky voice: Okay… Okay, every­body. Who­ev­er you are. Who… Uh… Uh… Man­u­al­ly tries to… Uh… Open the train doors… Uh… You’ll… You’ll… You’ll be locked up… I’m tellin’ ya…! You’ll be locked up!
(en­tire train howls with laugh­ter)

–Train Ar­riv­ing at Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Mar­garet

If You’re Wor­ried About Catch­ing the Gay, Maybe You’re Not As Straight As You Think.

Thug #1, af­ter pass­ing loud gay cou­ple, a gay man in shorts, and two men kiss­ing: Yo, se­ri­ous­ly, where the fuck are we at?
Black queer, flip­ping up sun­glass­es at night: Bitch, you in Chelseaaaaa!
Thug #2: Taxi!

–22nd & 7th

Over­heard by: frank white

How Does Any­one Make It Out Of Their 20’s Alive?

Girl #1: Do you have any Vi­codin?
Girl #2: Yes, but I am not shar­ing with you, be­cause you would not give me any Val­i­um when I asked.
Girl #1: Okay, here are the Vals, now give me the Vi­codin.
Girl #2: Hey, don’t take them with wine. Check the warn­ing “al­co­hol may in­crease the ef­fect.”
Girl #1: Oh, I thought that was a serv­ing sug­ges­tion.

–Ig­gy Pop Lec­ture, Times Cen­ter