Old lady, after being pushed by teenage girl: You jerk!
Teenage girl: Well, I really hope you die, like, tomorrow.
–Port Authority
Archive for 2010
But I’m More Important Than Most!
Conductor: I know you all are in a hurry, and you are all very important, but we need to close the train doors or we ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Woman: I can’t get in! Move in, people!
Conductor: Giiiiirl, let me tell you right now, no way in hell you’re gonna fit. Step off and back it up, sistah. The train’s moving.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Kris
…Judging from the Chocolate Bar.
Teenage girl #1: That’s Babe Ruth? That don’t look like Babe Ruth!
Teenage girl #2: I thought Babe Ruth was black…
–Madame Tussauds Wax Museum
Now Quit Whining and Drink Your Cappucino
Little girl: I’m gonna be 4!
Mom: In December.
Little girl: In December!
Mom: And you’re gonna be this short forever. You’re not gonna grow.
Little girl: Whaaa-aaaat?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Brigid
A Collapse Of the Food Chain Means No More Grilled Meat, Jennifer
Woman #1: I’m, like, really starting to get concerned about this oil spill thing because of the effect on like the environment.
Woman#2: Why? Do you dive?
–Women’s Bathroom, Churrascaria Tribeca
Overheard by: Valerie
Brilliant!
Customer #1: You’ve never seen Death Wish?
Customer #2: Nope.
Customer #1, enthusiastically: He wishes for death! (pause) On others!
–Store, Union Square
Overheard by: Greg Luther
Remember the Hippo Ballerinas from Fantasia?
Little boy looking at a poster for “dance your a$$ off”: That guy is fat, she is fat, they are all fat.
Boy’s friend: They are all very fat.
Babysitter: Hey, that isn’t nice.
Little boy: But they are fat.
–1 Train
Overheard by: UWSider
That’s All Anyone Knows, Buddy.
Museum guard #1: I need to learn more about this Lady Gaga person.
Museum guard #2: You’ve never heard of Lady Gaga?
Museum guard #1: All I know is that she’s just… weird.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Maggie
…And Hopefully We’ll Reach Stairs Eventually.
Tourist #1: We have to go north.
Tourist #2: Well, if north is up, then I think we should keep walking this way.
–32nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Yousef
Translation: “Sleep with Me.”
Male lunch partner: It’s like we don’t even deserve spring. We get winter and summer. We don’t deserve a spring. (laughs) Just don’t get one.
Female lunch partner: We kinda had a spring.
Male lunch partner: We did.
–45th St & Lexington
