Girl with coach bag: It’s like the Beatles are here (motions with hand) and Flo Rida is here (motions with hand two feet higher)
Asian boy: (stares)
Girl with coach bag: Musical genius!
–St. Mark’s Place
Archive for 2010
Um, Aren’t You a Little Old to Watch Hannah Montana?
High school girl #1: I love Hannah Montana but I hate Miley Cyrus. She’s like a role model, you know? She shouldn’t have taken those pictures, but… If she, you know, shouldn’t have leaked them.
High school girl #2: I don’t think she…
High school girl #1: Well, I know, but still!
–Flushing
New Yorkers Don’t Really Care Where You’re From
Girl #1: Where is he from, anyway?
Girl #2: I dunno, he’s from Fort Dallas or something.
Girl #1: He’s from some fort town.
Girl #2: Well, there’s Dallas-Fort Worth, but that’s, like, a big city. (pause) He’s from wherever Kelly Clarkson’s from.
Girl #1: Oh, okay!
–LIRR
Overheard by: openmic
Tonight’s Movie: Naked Lunch
Female suit: I don’t think I have time for lunch.
Male suit: Let’s do a quickie.
Female suit: Do you even know what that means?
Passerby suit, pumping arms: Go for it, guys!
–44th St & Vanderbilt
Overheard by: Hell Yeah
What Do Spitzer’s Prostitutes Have to Do with Anything?
Girl: Happy 4th of July!
Boyfriend: Why are you so happy about it? You’re not American.
Girl: I am too, I was born here!
Boyfriend: I’m waaaay more American than you.
Girl: What, you think Puerto Ricans came over on the Mayflower?
–Union Market, Park Slope
…You’ll Love My Favorite Pulled-pork BBQ!
Blonde: Yo, is vodka kosher?
Jewish girl: Yes.
Blonde: Okay, good, now we can go out to dinner together.
–FIT
Overheard by: Rina
Previously He Thought She Was a Muppet.
Girl: I can’t believe he’s being such an asshole to me! I’ve enriched his life so much!
Friend: Yeah?
Girl: Yeah! It’s because of me that he knows who Lady Gaga is!
–R Train
Overheard by: Soyeon
I Hear Death Is Very Slimming.
Thin, younger sister: What’s with all the magazine ads?
Slightly overweight, older sister: It’s thinspiration.
Thin, younger sister: I will kill you.
–Lobby, Hampton Inn
Sex, Therapy and Interrogation All Require the Same Skills
Girl: Listen to me!
Asian emo boy: What?
Girl: This is what you need to do with your girlfriend so you can fuck her better!
–Mott Street
They’re Not Bullshit
Hot female student #1: I’m sending out goooood vibes for my calc exam.
Hot female student #2: Dude, the universe totally doesn’t care about your calc exam.
Hot female student #1: What?
Hot female student #2: It cares about kittens! The universe cares about kittens! Jesus!
–Bedford Ave & Campus Ave
