Archive for 2010

Can We at Least Start a Band and Af­fect British Ac­cents?

Out-of-town teen hip­ster: I like wish one of those cars could take a pic­ture of us cross­ing, so it’d be like Abbey Road
Friend: But this is­n’t Abbey Road, there’s on­ly three of us, and we’re in the States.
Out-of-town teen hip­ster: So?
Friend: So it’d just be a pic­ture of us cross­ing some ran­dom street!

–Bow­ery & Bleeck­er

You Com­plete Me, Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Blonde co­ed: Af­ter he fin­ished yelling at me for a sol­id ten min­utes, he’s like, “So, do you want to be my girl­friend?”

–3rd Ave & 11th St

Over­heard by: si­mon

Mid­dle school girl to boy: I don’t nor­mal­ly get with sixth graders, but you’re dif­fer­ent…

–10th St & 1st Ave

Woman on cell: You are not lis­ten­ing to me. (pause) When you say what­ev­er it is you’re bitch­ing about’, I know that you are not ac­tu­al­ly lis­ten­ing to me.

–River­side Park

Guy on cell: I don’t treat you quite as bad as you say.

–Am­trak

Over­heard by: Flooey

Boyfriend, about girl­friend en­thu­si­as­ti­cal­ly cheer­ing on Col­bert: Why don’t you scream like that for me?

–The Col­bert Re­port Set

Par­ty girl to friend: So I asked my priest, and he said “I think you should see oth­er peo­ple.”

–Park Ave & 29th St

Over­heard by: pe­tey