Security guard: Oh, man, thank god for anti-depressants and alcohol! Nothing like Jack Daniels to get you through the day.
Building security guard to mailman: Don’t you think tv saved the world? Say you’ve got 10, 12, 14, 16 kids …
–William & Beekman
NYU security guard to long line of kids: A’ight kids, e‑z passes out. Put your IDs in the air and wave them like you just don’t care!
–College of Arts and Science, Washington Square Park
Security man: No photos in Tim Burton! No pictures, no photos! Tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell someone you don’t like!
–Tim Burton Exhibit, MoMA
Security guard: Have a nice day… Now get the hell out of here.