Archive for 2010

…It Was Your First Time, Right?

Po­lice of­fi­cer #1: They re­al­ly should­n’t let el­der­ly peo­ple in this el­e­va­tor. It’s so hot and there’s no air cir­cu­la­tion, peo­ple pass out in here!
Po­lice of­fi­cer #2: Well, maybe they should just not go on the el­e­va­tor. (they laugh)
Po­lice of­fi­cer #1: But se­ri­ous­ly, I had to give three old ladies mouth-to-mouth.
Po­lice of­fi­cer #2: Well, there’s a first time for every­thing.

–168th St

Maybe He Does­n’t Eat Carbs?

Old black hobo: Folks… Look in­side your heart. I am hun­gry and I am home­less. Please help me with some food or some­thing. Look in­side your heart.
(young black teenag­er keeps wav­ing a sub­way sand­wich in his face while hobo con­tin­ues to rant)
Old black hobo: Look in­side your heart. I am so hun­gry. Just look in­side your heart!
Young black teenag­er, re­al pissed off: Suc­ka, look in­side this bag! There’s a sand­wich in here!

–1 Train