Archive for 2010

Four, Then?

Mom: You're grounded.
Kid: Thanks.
Mom: How about two weeks, then?
Kid: No problem.
Mom: Okay, let's make it three weeks.
Kid: No, let's do two.
Mom: Oh, no, three weeks with no video games.

–MacDougal & Houston

Overheard by: jaydiggs

What's the World Coming to When You Can't Even Bride a Cop for a Celebrity's Address?

20-something dude: I don't get why a tourist would spend their whole day trying to spot an actor.
Friend: Yeah.
20-something dude: I guess I could see myself going to some real hot actresses' usual spots.
Man: You mean like stalking?
20-something dude: Hah! This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Man: I'm a cop.
20-something dude: Oh. So you actually know what I'm talking about. Don't worry, officer, I only intend on stalking Natalie Portman.
Cop: You wanna go for a ride?
20-something dude: Like around in your car?
Cop: To the station.
20-something dude: I'll shut up.
Cop: Thatta boy.

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: InDCandMissingBK

You'll Look for Any Excuse to Wear a Skirt, Ronnie.

Douche tourist #1: Yeah, so, I've been hanging out in Bed-Stuy a lot. You know, where Biggie Smalls grew up? It's the real hood. I'm having so much fun. You can get, like, Chinese food, and the guy's just like “okay, man, okay” if you don't have a gun.
Douche tourist #2: Yeah. It makes you think, how we live in, like, this little bubble.
Douche tourist #1: Totally. But I used to have a fake ID for teenage rebellion. But Minneapolis is such a 21-and-over town. They took the ID away from me. (sighs) That was such a great ID.
Douche tourist #2: Do you know Sam? She plays hockey.
Douche tourist #1: Real hockey, or…
Douche tourist #2: No, girl hockey.
Douche tourist #1: You mean field hockey. I love field hockey. I'm serious, I want to play field hockey so bad. I think it's reverse sexism that they don't let guys play.
Douche tourist #2: Well, guys can play. You'd just have to play against each other, not the girls.
Douche tourist #1: Why?
Douche tourist #2: Well, guys are stronger than girls.
Douche tourist #1: But what if we wore the same skirts? Than we'd be too embarrassed to play good.

–Coffee Shop, 8th St