Archive for 2010

The Brontë Sisters Always Have Fun in New York

Drunk blonde woman #1, rapping: I'm right up in your grill!
Drunk blonde woman #2: It's a motherfuckin' thrill!
Drunk blonde woman #1: We wanna eat your flesh!
Drunk blonde woman #2: Our rhymes are really fresh!
Drunk blonde woman #1: We get into your shopping bag! We get into your purse! (pause) I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about!
Drunk blonde woman #2: It might just be a curse!

–7 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Eww, They're Wet!

20-something girl to friend returning from restroom: There you are! I almost sent a search party.
Friend: Yeah, I, uhm, had to go do number two.
20-something girl, enthusiastically: Awesome!
Friend: Yeah, I love a good number two.
20-something girl: Me too, man! Alriiiight! (raises hands for a high-five, then hesitates) Wait, you washed your hands, right?
Friend: Yeah, of course.
20-something girl, with renewed enthusiasm: Alriiiight! (they high five)

–Ikea, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Good thinking.

Obamacare: Explained

Girl #1: What kind of insurance do you have?
Girl #2: Well, Medicaid, but it just got cut off.
Girl #1: What? They tried that shit with me. But I called everyday until they reinstated that shit. Sometimes you just gotta act black. No offense, I can say that because I'm Puerto Rican.
Girl #2: (nods)

–Doctor's Office, Jackson Heights

I Just Hope It's Not a Musical

Midwestern tourist lady #1: So last night we saw this great show, Fela!, about this musician. It was so moving, and I learned so much about that political situation…
Midwestern tourist lady #2: Which political situation?
Midwestern tourist lady #1: Well, you know, the political situation in Nigeria… And how Fela, like, helped to change it.
Midwestern tourist lady #2: But what was the situation?
Midwestern tourist lady #1: Just like, the political situation in Nigeria.
Midwestern tourist lady #2: I see. Well, I'll try to get tickets!

–F Train