Customer: Can I have a large, double-shot latte?
Barista: Do you want milk in your latte?
Customer: Yes…
–Dunkin’ Donuts
Overheard by: Julie
Customer: Can I have a large, double-shot latte?
Barista: Do you want milk in your latte?
Customer: Yes…
–Dunkin’ Donuts
Overheard by: Julie
Size 10 policewoman: Ya know, I gotta gain some weight.
Size 14-plus policewoman: Ya can have some o’ me, anytime.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Could’a Been A Contender
UPS guy: Hey, man, last dude who chased me got killed.
Guy eating fruit cup: Mmm-hmmmmmm…
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: GoodToKnow
Baby-voiced bag lady to pretty girl across from her: Excuse me, miss, do you have a pen?
Girl: No. I’m sorry, I don’t.
Baby-voiced bag lady : A pen! A pen!
(pretty girl shakes head)
Baby-voiced bag lady : A pencil?
Girl: I’m sorry, no.
(baby-voiced bag lady pulls Bic pen crack pipe out of bag and lights it. Train car quickly empties)
–C Train
Overheard by: sarette
Hipster guy: Have you ever been to the Hamptons?
Hipster girl: Yeah, I’ve been to the Hamptons. I was just there, actually.
Hipster guy, extremely lasciviously: Oh, I know you were!
Hipster girl, confused: Yeah. Did you, like, see me there?
Hipster guy, still lascivious: Oh, no. I’ve never been to the Hamptons.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: judydarkness
Diner: How adorable! Confirmation?
Mother, with two adorable little girls in white dresses: Communion. No, wait. Baptism.
Diner: Whatever. I’m Jewish.
–Pizzeria Uno, 81st St & Columbus
Girl: You’re running around like a chicken with its legs cut off.
Guy: Wait, how can a chicken run without legs?
Girl: I don’t know! It’s an expression!
–AMC Loews Cinemas
Overheard by: Michael Brawley
Wife: If you’re brain dead–I’m sorry, but I’m having them pull the plug!
Husband: (blank look)
Wife: You’d want that, right?
–Near Penn Station
Overheard by: LK
Tourist son wearing Red Sox jersey: There doesn’t seem to be many places to eat around here, I’m hungry.
Tourist mom, also wearing Red Sox jersey: I’m sure we’ll find a pizza place somewhere, we’ll just have to walk a bit.
–44th St & Lexington
Overheard by: only two delis and four starbucks down the street…
Guy #1: The beach has been really big this summer.
Guy #2: They beach is big every summer.
–20th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Barrett
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist