Father: Okay, girls, get your hairspray and turquoise eyeliner.
Daughter: Why?
Father: We’re going to Staten Island!
–Hudson & Christopher
Overheard by: Seonachan
Archive for 2010
…As Confucius So Eloquently Stated.
Annoying teenage girl: Hop off my dick, hop off my dick!
Teenage boy: You don’t have a dick.
Annoying teenage girl: You don’t need a dick to say you have one.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Emm
“Was?”
Four-year-old: I was going to Queens.
Employee: Oh, Queens?
Four-year-old: Yeah, it wasn’t part of the United States, it was part of Long Island.
–McNally Jackson Bookstore
Overheard by: Amyjo
At Least He Knows the Importance Of Being Flexible.
Hobo #1: I apologize. I apologize. I apologize that she sucked my dick and I kissed her!
Hobo #2, mumbling: I apologize that I sucked my dick and kissed…
–McDonald’s, 104th St & Broadway
What, Like Pills That Make You Happy?
Guy: I was diagnosed as depressed.
Friend: What? Like depression?
Guy: Yeah.
Friend: That sucks.
Guy: Yeah… Need some happy pills or some shit.
–Canal & Lafayette
I’ll Go Paku-Paku-Paku All Night Long
Young woman, in whiny nasal voice, about man next to her: Rich, you should wear the Pac Man costume this weekend, and get totally drunk!
Male voice coming out of yellow Pac Man mouth: Yeah.
–71st St b/w 1st & 2nd
What You Get for Dicking Around in History Class
Girl #1: Yeah, he knows Dick Clark.
Girl #2: You mean the ex President?
Girl #1: Lol! No!
–Office, Madison Ave & 49th St
Travel to the KateMossphere at Your Own Risk
Girlfriend to fiance, while shaking ring off of finger: Look, my ring is getting too big again. Am I losing weight?
Fiance: You’re losing weight and I’m losing interest in you.
–E 95th St
Overheard by: Sarah
Except People Actually Read Him
Male NYU student: Sound bites! I mean… Fucking sound bites! And that’s all they have! These people don’t actually know what they are talking about!
Female NYU student: (hesitant murmur of agreement)
Male NYU student, stopping to look at coffee table book: Oh man! Hunter S. Thompson! Have you read him? One of the great… beat poets.
–The Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: Ben
Makes You Imagine You Have the Answer, When You Don’t
Balding Italian man: Well, I was going to say “marijuana”.
Young Italian woman: That’s your answer for everything.
–Frankies 457, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sunny
