Woman: Did you see Lady Gaga when she wore that meat costume?
Man: That’s one crazy bitch. I’d tenderloin the shit out of her.
–Outside Toys-R-Us, Time Square
Overheard by: Damien
Archive for 2010
Girl, Watch Your Mouth!
Ghetto girl #1 looking at lingerie: Who has the time, really?
Ghetto girl #2: Oh, girl, I do! Hello! You can lick me outta this, you ain’t even gotta take it off.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Brooke
A 68 Is Where You Blow Me and I Owe You One
Guy: That was a great blowjob.
Girl: You’re still gonna fuck me, right?
Guy: Not tonight… I have to go home and buy some chicken for dinner.
–E 74th St & 1st Ave
We Can Only Dream They’re Talking About Victoria Beckham.
Club boy #1: So you must tell me: how was posh last night?
Club boy #2: Oh, I don’t know. I’m not really sure what happened, but at some point someone, um, bit my nipple and ever since, it just, um, hasn’t been the same.
–53rd & 9th
Overheard by: Andrew L
Oh, Sorry, I Farted.
20-something gorgeous gay man wearing tiara: He wouldn’t tell me where he was, so then I said “let me smell ya dick!“
20-something drop-dead hot girl: Something’s rotten in Denmark.
–Bleecker & W 4th
See, Now You’re Making Sense.
Loud 20-something man: Jesus! Hallelujah! Praise the lawwwddd!
Friend: Will you please be quiet?
Loud 20-something man: Hallelujah! Let’s get some vegetarian curry!
–E Houston & Ave A
Everyone Knows Red Means “Stop”
Girl to friend: I think I just saw the guy I was with last night.
Friend: You gonna go say something to him?
Girl: No way! First he made me give him a handjob for like an hour, then he shot right in my eye. I think it’s still red.
Friend: Your eye or his cock?
Girl: Either way, no second date.
–Downtown 3 Train
Overheard by: hellokitty
Would That Be a Trick or a Treat?
College girl #1: I want to go trick or treating now…
College girl #2: Yeah, totally.
College girl #1: I don’t think anyone would give us candy though… We’d just get raped.
–Party City, 14th St & 5th Ave
Biblically?
White man selling stories: You wanna hear a story?
20-something white guy: What’s it about?
White man selling stories: It’s about a pirate, his parrot, and cyborgs.
20-something white guy: Okay.
White man selling stories: First, are you familiar with robots?
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Human Being
Ooo, Your Insult’s Got Bite!
Queen #1: What the fuck, girl, did you not look in the mirror before walkin’ out da house? Those shoes do not match that shirt!
Queen #2, with sass: You obviously did look in the mirror, because that shirt (points at dark yellow shirt) matches your teeth perfectly.
–F Train
