Archive for 2010

Dad Did All the Cry­ing

Nine-year-old girl #1: My mom says that she was in so much pain giv­ing birth to me that they had to give her surgery. My head was too big.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Your head is not big!
Nine-year-old girl #1: Yeah, but when I was a ba­by it was huge.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Weird. Did you have some sort of dis­ease?
Nine-year-old girl #1: No, but when I came out I was­n’t cry­ing, I was twirling my hair.

–Mannes Col­lege of Mu­sic

Wendy’s Bipo­lar Pu­ber­ty Should Be En­ter­tain­ing

Six-year-old girl, hold­ing hands with her mom: It feels like we are go­ing the wrong way.
Moth­er: I think we are go­ing the right way.
Six-year-old girl: Yeah, it al­so feels like we are go­ing the right way, at the same time. That’s weird! (gig­gles) Some­times, I feel sad and hap­py at the same time. Is­n’t that weird? (more gig­gles)
Moth­er: That’s not weird, hon­ey. Mom­my of­ten feels hap­py and sad; that’s why I need my af­ter­noon nap every day.
Six-year-old girl: I on­ly want to be hap­py, mom.
Moth­er: Me too…

–6th Ave & 4th St

Over­heard by: Brett

This Is My Last Date Through EHor­ror­mo­ny

Girl leav­ing apart­ment: Are you fuck­ing for re­al? A gas mask!?
Guy, fol­low­ing: What do you mean?
Girl: You think I’m go­ing to have sex with you af­ter that?!
Guy: Huh… I still don’t get it?
Girl: If you don’t get how a gas mask and sword don’t work, I can’t help you!

–Green­point

Over­heard by: Smokey