Archive for 2010

Dad Did All the Crying

Nine-year-old girl #1: My mom says that she was in so much pain giving birth to me that they had to give her surgery. My head was too big.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Your head is not big!
Nine-year-old girl #1: Yeah, but when I was a baby it was huge.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Weird. Did you have some sort of disease?
Nine-year-old girl #1: No, but when I came out I wasn’t crying, I was twirling my hair.

–Mannes College of Music

Wendy’s Bipolar Puberty Should Be Entertaining

Six-year-old girl, holding hands with her mom: It feels like we are going the wrong way.
Mother: I think we are going the right way.
Six-year-old girl: Yeah, it also feels like we are going the right way, at the same time. That’s weird! (giggles) Sometimes, I feel sad and happy at the same time. Isn’t that weird? (more giggles)
Mother: That’s not weird, honey. Mommy often feels happy and sad; that’s why I need my afternoon nap every day.
Six-year-old girl: I only want to be happy, mom.
Mother: Me too…

–6th Ave & 4th St

Overheard by: Brett

This Is My Last Date Through EHorrormony

Girl leaving apartment: Are you fucking for real? A gas mask!?
Guy, following: What do you mean?
Girl: You think I’m going to have sex with you after that?!
Guy: Huh… I still don’t get it?
Girl: If you don’t get how a gas mask and sword don’t work, I can’t help you!

–Greenpoint

Overheard by: Smokey