Woman in dress, after smooching with guy: But how?
Guy: Don’t worry baby, I already told about you to my wife.
Woman in dress: Aww, baby…
–31st St & Broadway
Archive for January, 2011
Says He Wants to Have My Baby
Girl #1: But I secretly like when guys check me out.
Girl #2: What about Steven*?
Girl #1: Oh yeah… He’s like a lesbian, who knows.
–Hunter College
Somebody’s Jonesing for Some Jarlsberg
Guy driving by: Is that the line for the liquor store?!
Large black lady in fancy fur coat: Naw, it’s for cheese, muthafucka!
–Outside Liquor Store, 145th and Broadway
Overheard by: Madame Veuve Cliquot
Technically, It Was a Crackhead Baby.
Cute blond girl, hearing loud scream: What kid is throwing a temper tantrum? Jesus!
Boyfriend: No, that’s just a crackhead.
Cute blond girl: Oh.
–Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Noelle
Some Yuppie Child You Are
Brooklyn mom: You are the only kid I have ever met who doesn’t like goat cheese.
Nine-year-old: Peanut butter!
–Brooklyn Heights
Aw Yeah, That’s the Stuff!
Cute, slightly obnoxious girl: I didn’t get sexually harassed today!
Huge Latino male friend: High five!
(five or six people from surrounding tables walk over to get in on the high fives)
–Esperanto Cafe, 3rd & MacDougal
Wednesday One-Liner Cheney
Guy to friends: She walks like she has a huge dick, that’s how she walks!
–Office Building, 34th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Spacedog ears
Drunk guy: So I put my dick in the hard drive.
–10th St & Ave A
Overheard by: guy walking dow street friday
Girl on cell: I can’t compete with his dick!
–L Train
Overheard by: fuhggedaboudit
Angry hot girl to friend: Even if he’s the biggest swinging dick in the world, so what?
–10th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: jennifer tobias
Angry middle-aged woman to silent husband: I come home, I want some gin and some dick.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Wednesday One-Liners: Glug Glug Glug, Ahh!
NYU student to another: I haven’t been drinking as much since I turned 21.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Rogelio
College girl to friend: I wasn’t drunk, I was just cheerful.
–Canal St & Mott St
20-something girl on cell: He was drunk and fucking his demon ex-girlfriend.
–181 & Ft. Washington
Guy in dirty army clothes to another: I was still drunk, thank god Dunkin’ Donuts was open.
–D Train
Middle aged guy on cell: That’s what happens when you drink, motherfucker! You can’t remember shit!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aron
There Are Niche Fetishists Who Would Pay Top Dollar for That Footage
Guy #1: I just don’t like the look of the outie. And sometimes she rubs it against me, it creeps me out!
Guy #2: Dude, she’s fuckin’ hot! And you’re complaining when she rubs against you?
Guy #1: No, no, no – she’s not rubbing against me, she’s rubbing the outie against me – big difference! And she’s only doing it to creep me out, ’cause she thinks it’s funny.
–6 Train
In Fairness, Jennifer Beals Still Looks Great
Mom to children: You guys look like dancers!
Little girl #1: Yeah!
Little girl #2: Yeah! Like flash dancers!
Mom: What are flash dancers?
Little girl #1: They take of their clothes and flash people!
Little girl #2: Yeah!
–Whole Foods, Bowery
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
