Archive for May, 2011

I'm Married to a Red Hooker

Middle-aged intoxicated white male #1: You've heard of Canal Street, but have you ever heard of Gowanus Canal Street?
Middle-aged intoxicated white male #2: Duh, I've lived here twenty years.

–Atlantic Ave & Smith St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mary

Gosh, You're Deep.

Girl: It's so strange. This is nothing like Chicago.
Guy: I know. It's New York.

–East 6th St & 1st Ave

What Really Happened to Little Michael Jackson.

Child in elevator: I wanna press the button.
Mother: I'll let you press it on the way down.
Child: No, I wanna do it now! No, I wanna do it now!
Mother: I'm gonna beat the black off you if you don't shut the fuck up!
Child: (silence)

–Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mimic

I Thought That Was, Like, a Sexual Thing?

Guy #1: If I were The Joker my best pick-up line would be “lets put a smile on that face.”
Guy #2: Or “why so serious?”
Guy #3: How about “wanna see me make this pencil disappear?”
Girl #1: Poor Joker… That's why he wanted to kill everybody.

–N Train

Overheard by: A&Z

This Was the Moment They Fell in Love.

Girl: Do you know how to drive a stick?
Boy: Nah, I learned when I was wasted.
Girl: Me too! Spring break senior year. My friend's Mustang. Don't remember…

–Downtown 4 Train

Um, Isn't That Your Wife's Birth Control?

Middle aged black man: I don't need some pill to make me skeet. You know what I'm sayin?
Slightly older black man: I gots the magic pill. I like makin' sure I be ready for my bitch!

–51st & Lexington

Overheard by: Waitingforatrain

…With Your Street Smarts

Southern mom, arriving in New York: Okay, everyone put your street smarts on.
Southern teen girl #1: I put my cell phone in my pocket, is that okay?
Southern teen girl #2: No! That's where the hobos go first! Put it in your sock!

–Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: Lindsey Hogrefe