Elementary school girl to father: You know I was so popular in first grade that I used Pamela’s technique from kindergarten and had different people sit with me on different days of week.
Overheard by: never had this problem
8‑year-old boy sitting on coin-operated kiddie horse ride: If this was El Toro, my wiener would really hurt!
Overheard by: Rachel
Young child in public restroom, watching mother dry hands under electric dryer: Mommy, do we have to pay for air?
–5th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: Jenica
Little girl with blank stare to no one in particular: Don’t push me, you bastard!
Overheard by: AdHoculi
Four-year-old girl: Mary had a little lamb… but I ate it!