Archive for December, 2011

The Karmic Pay­back for Snot­ti­ness

Woman: Wow, I can’t tell you the last time I was north of 40th street.
Man: Yeah, it’s got­ten to where if I go above 14th street, I get nose­bleeds.

–47th & 7th Ave

You Know My Se­cret Iden­ti­ty?

Tired-look­ing dad on cell: Got­ta get the cof­fee, got­ta get the hero­in…
Lit­tle boy: Dad­dy, what’s hero­in?
Tired-look­ing dad: Um, a hero­in is a per­son that the hero saves.
Mex­i­can sit­ting next to him: Hi­jo de pu­ta.

–6 Train

Over­heard by: vic­ki

Or Be­ing In­con­ti­nent on the Sub­way

Suit #1: How was your va­ca­tion in Italy?
Suit #2: Great, have you been?
Suit #1: No, nev­er been out of the coun­try… Well, just to Mex­i­co.
Suit #2: Yeah, that does­n’t count, it’s like go­ing to one of our neigh­bor­hoods here…

–4 Train

On­ly the Artist’s Urine Is Al­lowed

Be­wil­dered old man to do­cent out­side “du­al­i­ty of light” show: Toi­lets? Are these the toi­lets?
Do­cent: No, this is an art ex­hib­it.

–Al­ice Tul­ly Hall Lob­by

Over­heard by: Morn­ing Glo­ry

Her Fam­i­ly Can’t Wait to Meet Me

Boy #1: She’s black with blue eyes!
Boy #2: Are they re­al?
Boy #1: Yeah.
Boy #2: But… Is it awk­ward? Like, is she slave black?
Boy #1: What do you mean “slave black”? She’s cop­per brown. She’s caliente…

–Q88 Bus

That Bag Is So Bag

Thugette: That bag is so ghet­to!
Thug: No, that bag is not ghet­to. Ghet­to is a noun, not an ad­jec­tive. That bag is from the ghet­to!

–Metro-North Rail

Over­heard by: Ste­fanie

From My Big Book Of Things Straight Men Don’t Say

Old­er woman, watch­ing paint­ing: She is ug­ly. She has a re­al­ly ug­ly face. Look at her fore­head!
Old­er man: Yeah, she’s pret­ty ug­ly.
Old­er woman: But wow! She has great tits!
Old­er man: But they’re point­ing the wrong way!

–Mu­se­um of Mod­ern Art