Archive for 2011

Every Day Is “Ignorant Old-Person Day”

Old woman, after hearing court administrators talk about upcoming holiday (Veteran’s Day): What holiday is it tomorrow, I can’t remember?
Black man behind the counter: It is the holiday where we remember and thank people like me.
Old woman: Martin Luther King day?

–Beaver St

Translation: She’s Prettier Than Me

40-something man: Do you think she’s a model?
40-something woman: Nah, she’s too short to be a model, but she’s not too short to be a bitch.

–Broadway & 86th St

Oooh, or a Mexican Spitfire?

Guy: John has a girlfriend. She’s a real spitfire.
Girl: A spitfire like she’s 18 and on coke all the time?

–F Train

Overheard by: BeccaGo

Is Education Still the Way Out Of Poverty? Discuss.

Australian girl, pointing towards housing projects: Are they the dorms for Columbia students?
American guy, slight pause: Errr… no.

–1 Train

Overheard by: An Australian — but one who was born WITH a brain

Humanity: Encapsulated.

Curious man: What would happen if I dropped a penny?
(drops penny)
Curious man: Oh, shit, I think that hit someone!

–Top of Empire State Building

Translation: “Jackpot!”

Vapid girl #1: What does your boyfriend do?
Vapid girl #2: He’s like, a financial guy in like, finance.

–57th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: what’s he really like?

How New Yorkers Say “Pardon, Ma’am.”

Texting ghetto girl running into young suit: The word is “excuse me”!
Young suit, flipping out: The word is “pay attention and stop texting, you stupid bitch.” So back the fuck off and happy holidays.

–Park Ave & 15th St

Overheard by: Tom