Archive for 2011

Stupid Dominant Culture

Dad to young daughter, pointing at crossing signal: See? It’s only safe when you see the white man walking. The colored hand is bad.
Young daughter: Colored is always bad.

–Riverdale

Overheard by: …yikes


I Can’t Decide If I Feel Flattered or Insulted

Guy to girl who is seemingly part of group of girls speaking Swedish: Are you Scandinavian?
Girl: Oh, I’m not with them.
Guy: Oh, I’m sorry! I just assumed you were with them because you’re blonde.

–L Train


Would You Like to Date Her, for a Fee?

9‑year-old boy: Lee, are you dating my mom?
20-something guy, awkwardly: No! No, I’m not dating your mom.
9‑year-old boy: Well, whatever you are doing keeps her happy, like she is when she is dating someone! I know she is not cool anymore, but for a mom she’s fun all-right! (pause) I’m happy I got to ask you.
20-something guy, in disbelief: Ehh… Ah…

–22nd St & 2nd Ave


Or Was It Puppy Biscuit?

Seemingly-normal looking lady, screaming: Enema!

–32nd & Broadway

Overheard by: erkala


Thank Heaven for Hallucinatory 7‑Eleven

Man: Is there a 711 round here?
Teenage girl: I’m sorry, I really don’t know.
Man, pointing to middle of street: Yes, there is right there. (mutters) Coffeecoffeecoffee…

–42nd & 8th


Then I’ll Take a Tupac

Waitress to old man describing oyster appetizer: These oysters come from the East Coast and these come from the West Coast.
Old man: Do they get along better than those East Coast & West Coast rappers?
Waitress: They have a truce.

–Prime Meats, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Arturo Tedesco


…On a Penis.

Short man to three taller friends: You hear that fuckin’ Barack Obama on tv talking about the gays? Made me wanna gag!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Arielle


Says the Korean Guy?

Guy to friend: Dude, I wouldn’t even treat my dogs like that!
Friend: I know, man, you treat your dogs way worse.

–6 Train

Overheard by: fabgab