Archive for 2011

I’ve Seen Your Ohio-Face

Gay guy #1: There are no straight flights to Cleveland.
Gay guy #2: Oh, that explains it.

–LaGuardia Airport

…Dressed As Zorro.

Man with long wavy hair working food booth: Where the fuck do I know you from?
Preppy guy: You came to my wedding.

–NYC Food and Wine Festival, Grand Tasting

That’s Pretty Sharp.

Mother to child: It’s like unicorns, girls don’t have horns and boys do.
Child: So does that mean that daddy has a horn on his head?

–80th St & Lexington Ave

Overheard by: Innocent bystander

How Was Your Halloween, New York?

Red-haired hobo: You’re the one wearing horns.
Gay guy wearing black horn patches: This is so conspicuous.
Red-haired hobo: But you’re the one who wanted to be in the sun.

–Church St & Worth St

Overheard by: Josh Ears Campbell

When Outsourcing Gets Out Of Control.

Very drunk, super-hot blonde, on phone: Like, I don’t know… It’s this weird thing my boyfriend keeps saying. I don’t get it… Wait, let me ask this guy right here… (to 20-something man standing next to her) Would you fuck me with someone else’s dick?
Man: What’s wrong with my own?
Very drunk, super-hot blonde: Yeah, I know, right!?

–Union Square

Although Having to See Blind People Is Pretty Bad

Girl: I just hate the subway, it’s so dirty!
Guy: I know. And today, there were these twelve deaf kids on the subway with me, and I had to listen to them making those annoying noises all the way to 52nd st.
Girl: Oh my god, that’s the worst!

–Wagner College Shuttle