Archive for 2011

Now, Just to Be Clear, Would That Train Take Me to Funky­town?

Young la­dy suit #1, about old la­dy suit scream­ing in­sane­ly on phone: You hear her? Yeah, she’s… She’s on the wrong track, I think. She might ac­tu­al­ly be get­ting on the crazy train soon.
Young la­dy suit #2: Yeah, the crazy train.
Young la­dy suit #1: She’s go­ing to take the crazy train all the way to crazy town. I bet it’s a mag­ic town.
Young la­dy suit #2: Sure, it’s mag­ic.
Young la­dy suit #1: A mag­ic town. You’d need a spe­cial train to get there. It must be the Hog­warts ex­press.
Young la­dy suit #2: I think I’ll take your calls to­day.
Young la­dy suit #1: I’ll see you on the plat­form.

–27th St & Park Ave

Ever Feel This Way About Life?

Clue­less Eu­ro­pean tourist: Is this the train to, um, men-a-tin?
Loud an­noyed New York­er: Where?
Clue­less Eu­ro­pean tourist, care­ful­ly: Man-hat-tan?
Loud an­noyed New York­er: You’re in Man­hat­tan al­ready!
Clue­less Eu­ro­pean tourist, look­ing around con­fused: Um, down­town?
Loud an­noyed New York­er: That’s the on­ly place this train goes. You can’t go any­where else from here!

–A Train, 207th St

Over­heard by: The Green Cat

Al­bus Was the Orig­i­nal Gangs­ta!

Teenage thug #1, to friends: Yo, you know who Dum­b­le­dore is?
Teenage thug #2: Um­mm, yes!
Teenage thug #1: So what’s his full name?
Teenage thug #3: Okay! Here it comes!
Teenage thug #4: Yeah, this is the shit right here!
All thugs, in uni­son: Al­bus… Per­ci­val… Wul­fric… Bri­an… Dum­b­le­dore!
Teenage thug #1: That’s what I’m talk­ing about! Yeah!

–Sun­set Park, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: even i did­n’t re­mem­ber

And “An­a­lyst” Is, Like, a Gay Thing– Right?

Girl #1: I can’t be­lieve I’m look­ing at apart­ments on Lex­ing­ton Av­enue… It’s not like I’m go­ing to be, like, an eq­ui­ty an­a­lyst at UBS.
Girl #2: Or, like, Bain.
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: I don’t even know what those words mean.
Girl #1: What, “eq­ui­ty an­a­lyst”?
Girl #2: Well, “eq­ui­ty.“
Girl #1: Eq­ui­ty is just mon­ey.
Girl #2: Oh, well, I know what that is.

–59th St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Chris