Archive for 2011

Now, Just to Be Clear, Would That Train Take Me to Funkytown?

Young lady suit #1, about old lady suit screaming insanely on phone: You hear her? Yeah, she's… She's on the wrong track, I think. She might actually be getting on the crazy train soon.
Young lady suit #2: Yeah, the crazy train.
Young lady suit #1: She's going to take the crazy train all the way to crazy town. I bet it's a magic town.
Young lady suit #2: Sure, it's magic.
Young lady suit #1: A magic town. You'd need a special train to get there. It must be the Hogwarts express.
Young lady suit #2: I think I'll take your calls today.
Young lady suit #1: I'll see you on the platform.

–27th St & Park Ave

Ever Feel This Way About Life?

Clueless European tourist: Is this the train to, um, men-a-tin?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: Where?
Clueless European tourist, carefully: Man-hat-tan?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: You're in Manhattan already!
Clueless European tourist, looking around confused: Um, downtown?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: That's the only place this train goes. You can't go anywhere else from here!

–A Train, 207th St

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Albus Was the Original Gangsta!

Teenage thug #1, to friends: Yo, you know who Dumbledore is?
Teenage thug #2: Ummm, yes!
Teenage thug #1: So what's his full name?
Teenage thug #3: Okay! Here it comes!
Teenage thug #4: Yeah, this is the shit right here!
All thugs, in unison: Albus… Percival… Wulfric… Brian… Dumbledore!
Teenage thug #1: That's what I'm talking about! Yeah!

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: even i didn't remember

And “Analyst” Is, Like, a Gay Thing– Right?

Girl #1: I can't believe I'm looking at apartments on Lexington Avenue… It's not like I'm going to be, like, an equity analyst at UBS.
Girl #2: Or, like, Bain.
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: I don't even know what those words mean.
Girl #1: What, “equity analyst”?
Girl #2: Well, “equity.”
Girl #1: Equity is just money.
Girl #2: Oh, well, I know what that is.

–59th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Chris