Archive for 2011

How’d You Know?

Hippie chick: After choir, I’m going downtown for a five rhythms meeting.
Sleepy woman: Huh?
Hippie chick: Five rhythms. It’s like dance meditation.
Sleepy woman: Free your mind, and the rest will follow? That kinda shit?
Hippie chick: Yup. The rhythms are flowing, staccato, lyrical, chaos and stillness.
Sleepy woman: And with your powers combined, you make captain planet?

–A Train

Girls from Jersey Should Not Dare Throw Stones.

Coffee shop girl: So where do you live?
Coffee shop guy: Oh… Uh… East…
Coffee shop girl: Don’t you dare say you live in East Williamsburg. You live in fucking Bushwick.

–Hick & Union, Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: i love this girl.

Oh, Leave Renee Zellweger Alone!

Woman boarding bus to the driver: Are you Asian?
Obviously Asian driver, not understanding: No.
Woman: Oh, okay. (gets on)

–FangWah Bus, Chinatown

Overheard by: Aly

Raise Your Hand If You’d Give Them Their Own Reality Show.

Man: Don’t worry about what I’ve got in my pocket, worry about what’s in your pocket. I see you’ve got nothing on your back.
Woman: Betsey Johnson! I got Betsey Johnson on my back! $350 dollar jacket, motherfucker, you were 78th in your high school class, get a GED!

–Douglass Houses

But How Would a Dog Tell the Truth, Anyway?

Young dude #1: What is it they say about sleeping dogs?
Young dude #2: That you should let them lie.
Young dude #1: No, I think it was something else…
Young dude #2: Like what? What else does a sleeping dog *do*?
Young dude #1: Yeah… I can see your point. But what does that saying mean?
Young dude #2: It means: don’t do whatever fucked-up thing you were thinking of doing.

–3 Train

How About a Big Kiss?

Starbucks cashier: Just to let you know, we don’t have any coffee today.
Dude, confused: What do you have?


…According to Our Family Chore Board.

Dad to whining kids: Kids, you need to lay off the whining. If anyone is going to be whining today, it’s going to be daddy.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Jennifer, an amused passerby

…You Understandify What I’m Sayering?

Annoying girl: I want to live by myself in one of those split, condo-ish, house things… You know, it’s like where the house is in two parts right next to each other?
Friend: A duplex.
Annoying girl: Yeah, that’s right; a two-plex.

–Union Square

Overheard by: lisabeth

The Natives Are Rootless

Desperate-sounding tourist, lost in Chinatown: Excuse me, do you know where the subway is?
Girl #1: Er, no, sorry!
Girl #2: Well congratulations, you finally look like a native.
Girl #1: Actually, I think this means I look like a white person who speaks English.

–Bowery & Hester

Is It a Grande or a Venti Baby?

Old woman to pregnant woman walking out of Starbucks, coffee in hand: What is it?
Pregnant woman, looking at her coffee: It’s a grande vanilla skim latte.
Old woman: No, I mean is it a boy or a girl?
Pregnant woman: Oh! I don’t know, actually.
Old woman, disapprovingly: You’re drinking coffee?
Pregnant woman: It’s decaf.
Old woman: Oh, then it’s okay.

–58th St & Lexington

Overheard by: Katie H