Archive for 2011

…But, Like, the Busy One.

Teenage girl: Ugh, why is it so busy today?
Teenage boy: I know. It's like… It's like… It's like almost as busy as uhh… Uhh… Grand Central station!

–Grand Central Station

And Some Racy Photos Of You.

Girl: Dude, last night I found my mom's weed stash.
Guy: Nice! Where?
Girl: In her top drawer. Next to all her vibrators.

–Bleecker St

Nah, I'll Just Punish You Myself, Later

PA subway announcement: A crowded subway car is no excuse for unlawful sexual contact.
Swedish girlfriend, grabbing boyfriend's crotch with both hands: Does this mean that you're going to report me now?

–6 Train

Overheard by: klondike

You Bought the Shoes; Now Pay for 'em

Black woman: Nigga, you gonna wait for me?
Black man about twenty paces ahead: Nope.
Black woman, to herself: I can't believe dis muthafucka. (louder) I'm gonna pop you on yo' bald-ass head, I swear to my mother.
Black man: Bitch, please!

–Amsterdam & 145th St

Overheard by:

Pop Quiz: What's Going on Here?

Thugette #1: Oh. It's cool right now, so we can eat outside.
Thugette #2: Shit, I ain't eating outside. It's so cool that it's cold, in fact.
Thug to bystanding white girl: Yeah, girl. Get yo' text on.

–112th St & Broadway

I've Seen a Flight Attendant Shoot a Man Just to Watch Him Die

Man #1: Hey, you have the JetBlue card!
Man #2: Yeah, I charge everything to it. I get most of my flights for free.
Man #1: I'm a JetBlue airplane mechanic.
Man #2: Really? I love JetBlue. They do everything I ask for in an airline: they get me there alive and on time.
Woman: I work for United. Don't fly us. We suck.

–Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry

Like All Great Performers.

LaGuardia student #1: They closed the upper level in Lincoln center off! Can you believe that? They thought we were doing drugs up there or something!
LaGuardia student #2: We were doing drugs up there.
LaGuardia student #1: Oh… right.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Taylor

(He's Talking About Her Period!!!)

Asian guy to friend, watching classmate: Stupid kid made his mom late and missed the train.
White guy: It's not the first time he made her late!

–Downtown N Train