Teenage girl: Ugh, why is it so busy today?
Teenage boy: I know. It's like… It's like… It's like almost as busy as uhh… Uhh… Grand Central station!
–Grand Central Station
Archive for 2011
And Some Racy Photos Of You.
Girl: Dude, last night I found my mom's weed stash.
Guy: Nice! Where?
Girl: In her top drawer. Next to all her vibrators.
–Bleecker St
Nah, I'll Just Punish You Myself, Later
PA subway announcement: A crowded subway car is no excuse for unlawful sexual contact.
Swedish girlfriend, grabbing boyfriend's crotch with both hands: Does this mean that you're going to report me now?
–6 Train
Overheard by: klondike
He's Considering Legally Changing His Name to “What'shisclearface”
Short girl: Did your boyfriend see you at the bar with whatshisface last night?
Tall girl: No, I think he's in denial. Have you seen what whatshisface looks like lately?
Short girl: Yeah, he looks really good. It looks like he's been using Accutane and he got a haircut.
–B-more
You Bought the Shoes; Now Pay for 'em
Black woman: Nigga, you gonna wait for me?
Black man about twenty paces ahead: Nope.
Black woman, to herself: I can't believe dis muthafucka. (louder) I'm gonna pop you on yo' bald-ass head, I swear to my mother.
Black man: Bitch, please!
–Amsterdam & 145th St
Overheard by:
Pop Quiz: What's Going on Here?
Thugette #1: Oh. It's cool right now, so we can eat outside.
Thugette #2: Shit, I ain't eating outside. It's so cool that it's cold, in fact.
Thug to bystanding white girl: Yeah, girl. Get yo' text on.
–112th St & Broadway
…As a 25-Year-Old, I've Earned That Right.
Guy #1: Blah blah blah… Back in the day…
Guy #2: You're 21. You're not allowed to say “back in the day.”
–68th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Erin
I've Seen a Flight Attendant Shoot a Man Just to Watch Him Die
Man #1: Hey, you have the JetBlue card!
Man #2: Yeah, I charge everything to it. I get most of my flights for free.
Man #1: I'm a JetBlue airplane mechanic.
Man #2: Really? I love JetBlue. They do everything I ask for in an airline: they get me there alive and on time.
Woman: I work for United. Don't fly us. We suck.
–Jamaica
Overheard by: Big Larry
Like All Great Performers.
LaGuardia student #1: They closed the upper level in Lincoln center off! Can you believe that? They thought we were doing drugs up there or something!
LaGuardia student #2: We were doing drugs up there.
LaGuardia student #1: Oh… right.
–Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Taylor
(He's Talking About Her Period!!!)
Asian guy to friend, watching classmate: Stupid kid made his mom late and missed the train.
White guy: It's not the first time he made her late!
–Downtown N Train