Little girl to babysitter: If there’s one person I would want to eat in this whole world it would be Santa Claus. I bet he tastes like mint… and candy. Or maybe the Easter bunny. He probably tastes like prizes.
–72nd St & 3rd
Overheard by: TA who hears everything
Girl: Right? A good assessment of my family is: we eat our young.
–Brooklyn Botanical Garden
Shirtless crazy man walking behind heavy set woman: I would love to eat that ass! Suck it real good…
Overheard by: baconista
20-something: No, I can’t take a later flight–apparently I have an ass-chewing first thing in the morning!
Grocery-carrying mom to tantrum-throwing boy: You scream one mo’ time, I slap yo’ butt on this here wonder bread and we be eatin’ you fo’ lunch all week! (little boy sits down quietly and folds his mittens)