Archive for 2011

Don’t You Want to Play Let’s You and Him Fight?

Girl #1: I’m sav­ing that seat for my boyfriend. He’s right be­hind you.
Guy: There’s an­oth­er seat right there.
Girl #1: But it’s for my boyfriend! Don’t sit there!
Guy: Well, I’m not mov­ing.
Girl #1: I can’t be­lieve you. Move!
Guy: No.
Guy’s girl­friend: He hurt his an­kle ear­li­er.
Girl #1: I can’t be­lieve you would­n’t move.
Guy: Don’t be a bitch.
Girl #1: Re­al gen­tle­man­ly! (to boyfriend) Why did­n’t you de­fend me when he called me a bitch?!
Girl #1’s boyfriend: (si­lence)

–Up­town A Train

Over­heard by: Alex

It Goes Great with My Stuff­ing.

Hip­ster, flap­ping arms: I make the turkey noise when I ejac­u­late! I make the turkey noise! Oh-gob­ble gob­ble gob­ble!

–Bush­wick & Grand

Je­sus Has His Rea­sons

Bro #1: Have you tast­ed that guy’s blood? He’s like drunk all the time.
Bro #2: Yeah…

–E 85th St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: rastapas­ta

Smoove B Al­ways Brings His “A” Game

Woman to man stand­ing at cor­ner: We’ve got the light.
Man in smooth voice, still stand­ing at the cor­ner: I’m not watchin’ the light, ba­by. I’m watchin’ the cars. The light don’t hit no­body.

–23rd St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Log­i­cal Thoughts