Archive for 2011

Don’t You Want to Play Let’s You and Him Fight?

Girl #1: I’m saving that seat for my boyfriend. He’s right behind you.
Guy: There’s another seat right there.
Girl #1: But it’s for my boyfriend! Don’t sit there!
Guy: Well, I’m not moving.
Girl #1: I can’t believe you. Move!
Guy: No.
Guy’s girlfriend: He hurt his ankle earlier.
Girl #1: I can’t believe you wouldn’t move.
Guy: Don’t be a bitch.
Girl #1: Real gentlemanly! (to boyfriend) Why didn’t you defend me when he called me a bitch?!
Girl #1’s boyfriend: (silence)

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Alex

It Goes Great with My Stuffing.

Hipster, flapping arms: I make the turkey noise when I ejaculate! I make the turkey noise! Oh-gobble gobble gobble!

–Bushwick & Grand

Jesus Has His Reasons

Bro #1: Have you tasted that guy’s blood? He’s like drunk all the time.
Bro #2: Yeah…

–E 85th St & Lexington

Overheard by: rastapasta

Smoove B Always Brings His “A” Game

Woman to man standing at corner: We’ve got the light.
Man in smooth voice, still standing at the corner: I’m not watchin’ the light, baby. I’m watchin’ the cars. The light don’t hit nobody.

–23rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Logical Thoughts