10-year-old boy #1: What’s a “bitch”?
10-year-old boy #2: It’s a woman. You can lie to women, they aren’t people.
–70th St & Myrtle Ave
Overheard by: Guy
10-year-old boy #1: What’s a “bitch”?
10-year-old boy #2: It’s a woman. You can lie to women, they aren’t people.
–70th St & Myrtle Ave
Overheard by: Guy
Guy #1: They’re all 80 or 90 years old.
Guy #2: The ones who are still alive, you mean?
–Westchester Ave, Planet Fitness
Overheard by: francyne pelchar
Guy: The second he was outta the navy he was smoking reefer. But he’s a bro! He loves Ron Paul! Even when he was in the navy he did karaoke on the weekends. But Rand Paul, that’s another story.
Girl: Sounds complicated…
–W 4rd & Thompson
Fabulous guy: So where were you today?
Girl in activist shirt: At a walk to fight brain tumors down in battery park.
Girl’s friend: I love New York, you can do a walk for just about anything, even the like randomest shit… Like yesterday, I passed two walks, one for breast cancer which is, like, normal, and then another one for lupus, which is, like, so random!
Girl in activist shirt: Not if you have lupus…
Random passerby, laughing : Dayyyyummmmm.
Girl’s friend: Shut up!
–Fordham University
Girl hipster #1, playing “game of life” on iPod: Wait, what does “desertion” mean?
Girl hipster #2: Isn’t it like, when you’re deserted?
Guy hipster: I dunno.
Girl hipster #1: Isn’t this, like, a kids’ game? What the hell?
–Terminal 5
Indian professor: No, you guys finish your work. Me and Nicole are going to talk about the X‑Men.
–Classroom, NYU
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Religious studies professor: Everyone, quiet down! I’m trying to discuss important matters here. So, professor Trelawney…
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Sarah R
Professor: I’m going to staple you to the wall, I’m not even going to tape you!
–Columbia
Stately, learned history professor: There’s this new part of the right wing called the tea baggers. (class laughs) Oh, I meant the tea party. I guess that shows where my modern interests are at.
–Bard High School Early College
Overheard by: Not at tea party member
Woman to child: Hold my hand, we’re not in Staten Island anymore.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Bella
Crazy guy on bus: This is for the public! This is for the public! When’s the last time you been to Staten Island? Seriously, when’s the last time any of you been to Staten Island? Think about it!
–N6 Bus
Overheard by: not from staten island
NYU girl to friends: I didn’t know Staten Island was, like, a real island. Do people actually live there?
–F Train
Young Italian kid: Anywhere important in Staten Island has a Wendy’s next to it.
–Spumoni Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: T.T.
Late teens punk girl, loudly: Hell no, I’m not going to Staten Island… What the fuck is there? All they have there are young, unwed girls like you!
–Walgreens
Guy: Hey, why don’t you work here?
Girl: Don’t shit where you study.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop
Overheard by: Emily B.
Plastered Asian guy to Asian girl: Your vagina is vibrating! We’re having a poor man’s abortion!
–7 Train
Woman: I have an idea. Why don’t you tell your wife you want to renew your vows, then take her on a cruise and push her overboard.
Man: If it was that easy, baby, a lot more people would be taking cruises.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Carolyn
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist