Lo­cal dude: Yo, my man, whaz up wit you?
Arab counter guy: I’m fucked up…
Lo­cal dude: Why’s dat?
Arab counter guy: I see you, I’m fucked up…

–Pak­istani-run Bode­ga, 57th & 9th Ave

Over­heard by: an­tho­ny rec­chia

Hood kid #1: Yo, we talkin bout Tyrell here. We ain’t talk­ing bout no debonair type nig­ga. We talk­ing bout Tyrell.
Hood kid #2: I know, I know yo. He lyin nig­ga. Any woman who takes a show­er be get­tin ten times the amount of pussy Tyrell gets.

–E Train

Lit­tle kid play­ing on straps on an old sub­way car: What are these for?
Friend: Those are the mon­key bars!

–Tran­sit Mu­se­um

Span­ish dude check­ing out red­head: Ay, ma­mi…
An­gry red­head: You’re in the wrong fuck­ing neigh­bor­hood!

–Chi­na­town

Suit: Chris* had fun kick­ing balls to­day!
Chris*: It’s a pri­or­i­ty!

–32nd & Broad­way

Over­heard by: thorn

Husky man with gray beard: Can I have the bath­room key, please?
For­eign cashier at­ten­dant: Youa­haftabuz.
Husky man with gray beard: What?
For­eign cashier at­ten­dant: Youa­haftabuz.
Husky man with gray beard: Are you say­ing I have to buy some­thing?
(for­eign cashier at­ten­dant shakes head)
Husky man with gray beard: That’s cru­el! Al­most in­hu­mane! (grabs so­da from cool­er)

–Wash­ing­ton Square South

Tourist to Asian girl: Can you tell me how to get to…
Asian girl, in Chi­nese: I don’t speak Eng­lish, don’t ask me.
Tourist: (looks con­fus­ed­ly at the Eng­lish pa­per­back the girl is read­ing)

–N Train

Over­heard by: Jessie

Suit #1, point­ing at huge group of teenagers ex­it­ing a build­ing: What is that, a high school?
Suit #2: It’s a Mc­Don­ald’s.

–56th & 8th

Over­heard by: Nat­ty

Guy to girl in bar: I’m at least four years old­er than every­one else here.
Girl, yelling: I fuck guys four times old­er than you! Get out!

–1020 Am­s­ter­dam

Girl sit­ting with trom­bone case: Do you think 1 pm is too ear­ly to start drink­ing?
Girl sit­ting with bas­soon case: Well, it’s tech­ni­cal­ly af­ter­noon, which is pret­ty much evening…
Trom­bone girl: Which is ex­act­ly like night­time. So re­al­ly, I should have start­ed drink­ing ear­li­er!
Bas­soon girl: That’s the con­clu­sion log­ic should lead you to.

–River­side Park

Over­heard by: Al­ready Trashed