Archive for 2011

The ICU Is Where You Go When You Get Fucked Up

Lo­cal dude: Yo, my man, whaz up wit you?
Arab counter guy: I’m fucked up…
Lo­cal dude: Why’s dat?
Arab counter guy: I see you, I’m fucked up…

–Pak­istani-run Bode­ga, 57th & 9th Ave

Over­heard by: an­tho­ny rec­chia

…As We Learned in AP Bi­ol­o­gy.

Hood kid #1: Yo, we talkin bout Tyrell here. We ain’t talk­ing bout no debonair type nig­ga. We talk­ing bout Tyrell.
Hood kid #2: I know, I know yo. He lyin nig­ga. Any woman who takes a show­er be get­tin ten times the amount of pussy Tyrell gets.

–E Train

Ha­ha! Just Kid­ding! The Key Is Lost!

Husky man with gray beard: Can I have the bath­room key, please?
For­eign cashier at­ten­dant: Youa­haftabuz.
Husky man with gray beard: What?
For­eign cashier at­ten­dant: Youa­haftabuz.
Husky man with gray beard: Are you say­ing I have to buy some­thing?
(for­eign cashier at­ten­dant shakes head)
Husky man with gray beard: That’s cru­el! Al­most in­hu­mane! (grabs so­da from cool­er)

–Wash­ing­ton Square South

How Eng­lish Is Spo­ken in New York.

Tourist to Asian girl: Can you tell me how to get to…
Asian girl, in Chi­nese: I don’t speak Eng­lish, don’t ask me.
Tourist: (looks con­fus­ed­ly at the Eng­lish pa­per­back the girl is read­ing)

–N Train

Over­heard by: Jessie

That’s Mu­sic to My Ears!

Girl sit­ting with trom­bone case: Do you think 1 pm is too ear­ly to start drink­ing?
Girl sit­ting with bas­soon case: Well, it’s tech­ni­cal­ly af­ter­noon, which is pret­ty much evening…
Trom­bone girl: Which is ex­act­ly like night­time. So re­al­ly, I should have start­ed drink­ing ear­li­er!
Bas­soon girl: That’s the con­clu­sion log­ic should lead you to.

–River­side Park

Over­heard by: Al­ready Trashed