Archive for 2011

The ICU Is Where You Go When You Get Fucked Up

Local dude: Yo, my man, whaz up wit you?
Arab counter guy: I’m fucked up…
Local dude: Why’s dat?
Arab counter guy: I see you, I’m fucked up…

–Pakistani-run Bodega, 57th & 9th Ave

Overheard by: anthony recchia

Haha! Just Kidding! The Key Is Lost!

Husky man with gray beard: Can I have the bathroom key, please?
Foreign cashier attendant: Youahaftabuz.
Husky man with gray beard: What?
Foreign cashier attendant: Youahaftabuz.
Husky man with gray beard: Are you saying I have to buy something?
(foreign cashier attendant shakes head)
Husky man with gray beard: That’s cruel! Almost inhumane! (grabs soda from cooler)

–Washington Square South

How English Is Spoken in New York.

Tourist to Asian girl: Can you tell me how to get to…
Asian girl, in Chinese: I don’t speak English, don’t ask me.
Tourist: (looks confusedly at the English paperback the girl is reading)

–N Train

Overheard by: Jessie

Way More Influential Than a High School.

Suit #1, pointing at huge group of teenagers exiting a building: What is that, a high school?
Suit #2: It’s a McDonald’s.

–56th & 8th

Overheard by: Natty

That’s Music to My Ears!

Girl sitting with trombone case: Do you think 1 pm is too early to start drinking?
Girl sitting with bassoon case: Well, it’s technically afternoon, which is pretty much evening…
Trombone girl: Which is exactly like nighttime. So really, I should have started drinking earlier!
Bassoon girl: That’s the conclusion logic should lead you to.

–Riverside Park

Overheard by: Already Trashed

…In What City?

Man: What is the real, actual name for the 52nd Street bridge?
Woman: There is no 52nd Street bridge.
Man: Yes, there is! But, it has a real name as well.
Woman: Where the hell is this bridge?
Man: 52nd Street!
Woman: Oh.

–Spring Street