Little boy: Dad, you have a Kombucha mustache!
Dad: Just eat your Clif Bar.

–2 Train

Security guard to woman who has just set off alarm: Are you wearing anything from another store that might have set it off? J. Crew? Madewell?
Woman, aghast: Are you serious?

–Opening Ceremony Store

Overheard by: Jonathan Lee

Man with booming voice: Do they make books anymore that do not have vampires in them?
Woman with equally loud voice: No, they have to have vampires, werewolves, or wizards in them. That is all there is.

–Borders