Archive for 2011

God: Don’t Call Me “Dude”

Meat­head #1, look­ing out door at tor­ren­tial rain: What is this!?
Meat­head #2, open­ing door and yelling to the sky: Why the fuck, dude!

–Club Fit­ness, As­to­ria

Over­heard by: Courtwick

It’s Not Easy Ooz­ing Green.

Man, on a hot day: You know that toy from when we were kids, the green slime you could throw against a wall and it would stick and slow­ly ooze down?
Woman: Yeah, slime.
Man: That’s what my tes­ti­cles feel like right now.

–21 St & 7th Ave

Over­heard by: raus­ki

Je­sus: They Tried to Make Me Go to Tem­ple, I Said “No, No, No”

Guy #1: And about two hours af­ter Amy Wine­house­’s death, they were like, “com­mem­o­rate Amy Wine­house by buy­ing this t‑shirt!” and they gave a link.
Guy #2: That’s ter­ri­ble! You can’t just cap­i­tal­ize on some­one’s death like that! (pause) Ex­cept for Je­sus.

–Williams­burg

Over­heard by: ma­ianess