Archive for 2011

God: Don't Call Me “Dude”

Meathead #1, looking out door at torrential rain: What is this!?
Meathead #2, opening door and yelling to the sky: Why the fuck, dude!

–Club Fitness, Astoria

Overheard by: Courtwick

It's Not Easy Oozing Green.

Man, on a hot day: You know that toy from when we were kids, the green slime you could throw against a wall and it would stick and slowly ooze down?
Woman: Yeah, slime.
Man: That's what my testicles feel like right now.

–21 St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: rauski

Jesus: They Tried to Make Me Go to Temple, I Said “No, No, No”

Guy #1: And about two hours after Amy Winehouse's death, they were like, “commemorate Amy Winehouse by buying this t-shirt!” and they gave a link.
Guy #2: That's terrible! You can't just capitalize on someone's death like that! (pause) Except for Jesus.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: maianess