Man: So your friend got hit on by two gay cross-dressers?
Woman: They weren't really gay, more like drag queens.
Man: I'm pretty sure most drag queens are gay.
Woman: Actually, percentage wise, most drag queens aren't gay.
–8th Ave, Chelsea
Archive for 2011
Why Some Kids Get Left at Street Corners: Explained.
Frustrated four-year-old girl: It's my house too, mommy! (gesturing to toy dog) This isn't yours, either!
–74th St & Amsterdam
Why Do You Have to Keep Bringing That Up?
Young female #1: He's such a spaz… It's like having sex with you.
Young female #2: You've never had sex with me.
Young female #1: Exactly!
–116th St & Amsterdam Ave
Like Heroin Addicts
Office worker #1: Gosh, it's so foggy out! I can't see anything! Do you think the trains will still be running?
Office worker #2: Well, they're on tracks, so they kind of know where they're going.
–Office Building, 57th St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
The Meek May Inherit the Earth, but They Never Get a Seat on the Train
Woman #1, getting on train: I don't think there's enough room for both of us on this seat.
Woman #2, getting on train: I would sit across from you if that woman hadn't taken my seat. (points to woman across from them)
Woman #3, sitting across from them: Then you should have gotten on five stops ago.
–A Train
Gary Glitter: Ahem, That's “Alleged Vampire”
20-something girl #1 excitedly telling a story: The vampire is a vegetarian…
20-something girl #2: What is this, Twilight?
20-something girl #1, offended: What? Hell no! A vampire that glitters? What kind of shit is that?
–N Train
Overheard by: Lana
Next: David Mamet's American Buffalo
Jersey girl: I've never been to this part of New York before! You know, when people talk about New York, usually they just mean the city.
–Chinatown
Inoperable One-Liners Of the Wednesday
Hobo: 72 pulses in your body, and I'll hit every one of them with my arrow.
–Court St, Brooklyn
Girl, flirtatiously to boyfriend: Your wrists are so tiny!
–Broadway & 14th
Overheard by: Sep10ber
20-something woman on phone: Oh, god! My ovaries are killing me!
–4 Train
Woman on cell: You gotsta yell, this ear is bad. (now yelling) Yell! This ear is bad! (a minute later) Shut up! Don't talk to me like that… Quit yellin! I couldn't hear you!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: rick
Some Clothes-Minded Wednesday One-Liners
Skinny white girl: Yeah, well, you know me. If I dress too chic, I look like a dv victim.
–Cooper square
Overheard by: Lynne
Guy to friend: You got any jumpsuits on ya?
–27th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kelly
Girl in black jeans: No one here is wearing jeans. Jeans are so spring 2012.
–W 24th, Hasted Hunt Kraeutler Gallery
Large, stylish black man on cell: Uh, huh, uh, huh… Well, just throw on some skinny jeans and get all up in that muthafucka.
–Banana Republic
Overheard by: Gretchen
Woman on cell: Look, I've already bought the socks. There's no going back.
–103rd & Broadway
iWednesday One-Liners
Middle aged DVD audio enthusiast to uninterested first date: Light up buttons, voice commands, gizmos like that… kinda get me off!
–LIRR
Young 20-something male to friend: Thus, rendering computers obsolete.
–Greenwich & Harrison
Overheard by: hngryDavy
Guy on cell: Well, the thing about computers, right, is you could see a computer becoming conscious…
–70th & Broadway
Young suit on phone: I know those were heady times, it was a pre-iPhone world.
–Rivington & Allen
Overheard by: tenneseejed
Lady to guy friends: Technology is awesome! Let's do this! Let's do this!
–64th & Central Park West
Overheard by: PhDre