Archive for 2011

Don't Even Attempt Gender Math in Chelsea, Dear Reader

Man: So your friend got hit on by two gay cross-dressers?
Woman: They weren't really gay, more like drag queens.
Man: I'm pretty sure most drag queens are gay.
Woman: Actually, percentage wise, most drag queens aren't gay.

–8th Ave, Chelsea

Like Heroin Addicts

Office worker #1: Gosh, it's so foggy out! I can't see anything! Do you think the trains will still be running?
Office worker #2: Well, they're on tracks, so they kind of know where they're going.

–Office Building, 57th St

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

The Meek May Inherit the Earth, but They Never Get a Seat on the Train

Woman #1, getting on train: I don't think there's enough room for both of us on this seat.
Woman #2, getting on train: I would sit across from you if that woman hadn't taken my seat. (points to woman across from them)
Woman #3, sitting across from them: Then you should have gotten on five stops ago.

–A Train

Gary Glitter: Ahem, That's “Alleged Vampire”

20-something girl #1 excitedly telling a story: The vampire is a vegetarian…
20-something girl #2: What is this, Twilight?
20-something girl #1, offended: What? Hell no! A vampire that glitters? What kind of shit is that?

–N Train

Overheard by: Lana

Next: David Mamet's American Buffalo

Jersey girl: I've never been to this part of New York before! You know, when people talk about New York, usually they just mean the city.

–Chinatown

Inoperable One-Liners Of the Wednesday

Hobo: 72 pulses in your body, and I'll hit every one of them with my arrow.

–Court St, Brooklyn

Girl, flirtatiously to boyfriend: Your wrists are so tiny!

–Broadway & 14th

Overheard by: Sep10ber

20-something woman on phone: Oh, god! My ovaries are killing me!

–4 Train

Woman on cell: You gotsta yell, this ear is bad. (now yelling) Yell! This ear is bad! (a minute later) Shut up! Don't talk to me like that… Quit yellin! I couldn't hear you!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: rick

Some Clothes-Minded Wednesday One-Liners

Skinny white girl: Yeah, well, you know me. If I dress too chic, I look like a dv victim.

–Cooper square

Overheard by: Lynne

Guy to friend: You got any jumpsuits on ya?

–27th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kelly

Girl in black jeans: No one here is wearing jeans. Jeans are so spring 2012.

–W 24th, Hasted Hunt Kraeutler Gallery

Large, stylish black man on cell: Uh, huh, uh, huh… Well, just throw on some skinny jeans and get all up in that muthafucka.

–Banana Republic

Overheard by: Gretchen

Woman on cell: Look, I've already bought the socks. There's no going back.

–103rd & Broadway

iWednesday One-Liners

Middle aged DVD audio enthusiast to uninterested first date: Light up buttons, voice commands, gizmos like that… kinda get me off!

–LIRR

Young 20-something male to friend: Thus, rendering computers obsolete.

–Greenwich & Harrison

Overheard by: hngryDavy

Guy on cell: Well, the thing about computers, right, is you could see a computer becoming conscious…

–70th & Broadway

Young suit on phone: I know those were heady times, it was a pre-iPhone world.

–Rivington & Allen

Overheard by: tenneseejed

Lady to guy friends: Technology is awesome! Let's do this! Let's do this!

–64th & Central Park West

Overheard by: PhDre