Woman #1: It was during the era of Gallagher–remember Gallagher?
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: MegPea
Archive for 2011
Their Relationship Is All Over the Map.
Girl on train: Sarah Palin is such a moron! I heard her call Africa a country on the radio. How do you not know Africa is a continent, not a country?
Boyfriend: Can you name all the continents?
Girl on train: Yes! North America, South America, Asia, Africa, Europe… (pause) North America, South America, Asia, Africa, Europe, South Asia…
Boyfriend: Mmm-hmm.
–Downtown N Train
Overheard by: smh
What Happened to the Nice Imported Roast I Got You for Your Seventh Birthday?
Grade-school brat walking with mommy and daddy: Look! A Starbucks!
Daddy: Where?
Grade school brat, pointing and yearning: Oooohhhhhh!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Cayla Summers
I Am the Most Fortunate Of Young Women
High school girl #1, referring to girl #2: She thinks pudding tastes like curry!
(later, girl #1 offers girl #2 a sip of her bubble tea)
Girl #2: This tastes like flowers.
Girl #1: You think everything tastes like flowers!
–Vivi Bubble Tea, Chinatown
Raise Your Hand If You Think She Should Have Her Own Reality Show
Massive Jamaican woman shouting into cell: Oh, you want trouble? You want trouble? You’ve got the right woman for that!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Justin
…With Baby Rape at a Close Second.
Loud, 30-something morning female commuter: Oh my god! It’s worse than cancer!
Even louder 30-something morning female commuter: I know! Getting old sucks! It’s the worst thing!
–N Train
Overheard by: Courtwick
Robert Pattinson Is One Fine Drink Of Water.
20-something woman to another, holding large ceramic mug with Twilight characters on it: That is a pretty great mug.
20-something woman #2, nodding: Yeah.
20-something woman #1: That might be the best mug ever.
–Downtown 4 Train
I Reiterate My Question.
Boy #1: Man, I am hungry! Let’s get off here and get some pizza.
Boy #2: Nah, man. You don’t want to do that. Round here there’s only kosher shit.
Boy #1: What’s wrong with kosher shit?
Boy #2: Cheese tastes like pussy!
–B6 Bus
“Pretty Wednesday One-Liner, Walkin’ Down the Street…”
Girl screaming into cell: Listen, I don’t care if he broke your heart, ate half of it, and then burned the other half as you lay there dying! He’s beautiful and I’m going to sleep with him!
–Park Slope
Guy: I find Eileen so much more attractive when she sits down.
–Central Park
Man, shouting at passing woman: You are as beautiful as the weather, you … Princess … Queen … Lord of lords.
–1st Ave & 2nd St
Little girl, watching strip club ad on taxi: Mommy, that lady is really pretty!
–86th St
…Hence My High Heels and No Pants
Black guy #1: I ate two of them weed brownies and I was all normal except for seein’ all of them cartoon hallucinations. Donald duck, mickey mouse–they was all there in front of me!
Black guy #2: Man, I’m gonna stay away from that shit. I’m paranoid enough already.
–L Train
Overheard by: Not a cartoon
