Archive for 2011

Their Relationship Is All Over the Map.

Girl on train: Sarah Palin is such a moron! I heard her call Africa a country on the radio. How do you not know Africa is a continent, not a country?
Boyfriend: Can you name all the continents?
Girl on train: Yes! North America, South America, Asia, Africa, Europe… (pause) North America, South America, Asia, Africa, Europe, South Asia…
Boyfriend: Mmm-hmm.

–Downtown N Train

Overheard by: smh

I Am the Most Fortunate Of Young Women

High school girl #1, referring to girl #2: She thinks pudding tastes like curry!
(later, girl #1 offers girl #2 a sip of her bubble tea)
Girl #2: This tastes like flowers.
Girl #1: You think everything tastes like flowers!

–Vivi Bubble Tea, Chinatown

…With Baby Rape at a Close Second.

Loud, 30-something morning female commuter: Oh my god! It’s worse than cancer!
Even louder 30-something morning female commuter: I know! Getting old sucks! It’s the worst thing!

–N Train

Overheard by: Courtwick

Robert Pattinson Is One Fine Drink Of Water.

20-something woman to another, holding large ceramic mug with Twilight characters on it: That is a pretty great mug.
20-something woman #2, nodding: Yeah.
20-something woman #1: That might be the best mug ever.

–Downtown 4 Train

I Reiterate My Question.

Boy #1: Man, I am hungry! Let’s get off here and get some pizza.
Boy #2: Nah, man. You don’t want to do that. Round here there’s only kosher shit.
Boy #1: What’s wrong with kosher shit?
Boy #2: Cheese tastes like pussy!

–B6 Bus

“Pretty Wednesday One-Liner, Walkin’ Down the Street…”

Girl screaming into cell: Listen, I don’t care if he broke your heart, ate half of it, and then burned the other half as you lay there dying! He’s beautiful and I’m going to sleep with him!

–Park Slope

Guy: I find Eileen so much more attractive when she sits down.

–Central Park

Man, shouting at passing woman: You are as beautiful as the weather, you … Princess … Queen … Lord of lords.

–1st Ave & 2nd St

Little girl, watching strip club ad on taxi: Mommy, that lady is really pretty!

–86th St

…Hence My High Heels and No Pants

Black guy #1: I ate two of them weed brownies and I was all normal except for seein’ all of them cartoon hallucinations. Donald duck, mickey mouse–they was all there in front of me!
Black guy #2: Man, I’m gonna stay away from that shit. I’m paranoid enough already.

–L Train

Overheard by: Not a cartoon