Archive for 2011

Next: Air

Girl: Do di­a­bet­ics need wa­ter?
Guy: Every­one needs wa­ter.
Girl: I mean, do they need it par­tic­u­lar­ly?

–Prince St

Over­heard by: Samah

Not Re­al­ly, No.

Teenage daugh­ter: Hey, do you want a Klondike Bar?
Moth­er, singing: What would ya do for a…
Teenage daugh­ter, in­ter­rupt­ing: Do you want one or not?


Even Talk­ing About Food Makes Me Fat­ter

Skin­ny guy #1: Have you ever seen me eat a slice of ko­ronet?
Skin­ny guy #2: No. (pause) If I did, we would not be dat­ing.

–111th St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Ka­t­ri­na

If You Love Some­thing, Let It Go

Guy in long line out­side stall: Hur­ry up, man!
Guy in stall: I can’t stop shit­ting on my­self!
Guy in line: I don’t care, just hur­ry the fuck up!
Guy in stall: I’ve got di­ar­rhea like crazy, guy!

–Bath­room, Penn Sta­tion


Smok­ing dude: The oth­er day I saw in the store “veg­e­tar­i­an eggs”.
Friend: What?
Smok­ing dude: Yeah. I mean, if they came out of a chick­en, they aren’t veg­e­tar­i­an.
Friend: Maybe they meant “free range”?
Smok­ing dude: I got no prob­lem, free-range eggs, kosher eggs, what­ev­er… but they aren’t veg­e­tar­i­an.

–Out­side Web­ster Hall

Over­heard by: Dun­can Pflaster

Bavar­i­an Mo­tor Wear Is Hot This Sea­son

Mid­west­ern la­dy: Oh dear, what a blouse shirt. Where did you get that?
Ger­man tourist: Thanks. It’s from Ger­many.
Mid­west­ern la­dy: Ger­many? I think I’ve heard of that de­sign­er be­fore. Do they have a shop in New York?

–99 East & 52nd St


Girl to male friend: You can look but you can’t touch! (pause) Wait a minute, why am I telling you! (to boyfriend) You can look but you can’t touch!

–59 & 6th

Don’t You Have an Abor­tion Clin­ic to Pick­et?

Save the Chil­dren can­vass­er: Do you have a mo­ment for Save the Chil­dren?
Man: No. Ac­tu­al­ly, I just got fired from my job…
Save the Chil­dren can­vass­er: From Save the Chil­dren?