Archive for 2011

So in the Q Train, All You Can Do Is Wait

Eng­lish girl #1: We need to get to Penn Sta­tion! Why is­n’t this train go­ing any faster!?
Eng­lish girl #2: Yeah, I thought this train would go faster than the oth­er train.
Eng­lish girl #3: Oh! I get it! It’s the 1 train be­cause it stops every one stop, and the 2 train stops every two stops, and like that, in­nit?
Eng­lish girl #1: Oh, yeah.
Eng­lish girl #2: That’s so ob­vi­ous now.

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Ben

We’re Sor­ry Our Sub­mit­ter Had to See That

Woman #1 : I love the sum­mer.
Woman #2 : Me too.
Woman #1 : San­dals make it easy to grow out my toes.
(woman #2 gives her a con­fused look, woman #1 di­rects at­ten­tion to her foot which had over­grown toe­nails art­ful­ly paint­ed as if it was long fin­ger­nails)

–A Train

Over­heard by: Ja­son

Where Love and Need Are One

Gyp­sy cab dri­ver: Hey, this your first time in New York?
Pas­sen­ger: No, but it’s the first time I’ve missed a flight.
Gyp­sy cab dri­ver: Cool, well, look out for cops for me, would you?
Pas­sen­ger: Sure–looks like the emer­gency lane is do­ing you well.

–In­ter­state from JFK to LGA Air­port

Over­heard by: Jen­nie

Para­dox­i­cal­ly, He’s a Ma­jor Douchebag.

Asian chic on the train: My ma­jor is so­ci­ol­o­gy.
Guy hit­ting on the Asian chic: Wow, so­ci­ol­o­gy was my mi­nor!
Friends, in cho­rus: Hey, al­most any­thing you do you in your life is kin­da mi­nor!

–LIRR

Over­heard by: ged­danyc

Raise Your Hand If You’re Hop­ing They Get Mugged.

Boyfriend, im­i­tat­ing Mid­dle East ac­cent: My queen, I’d like to build a school in this coun­try.
Girl­friend, im­i­tat­ing Mid­dle East ac­cent: A school for what, my king?
Boyfriend, im­i­tat­ing Mid­dle East ac­cent: A school to teach Amer­i­cans how to par­al­lel park­ing.

–Stat­ue of Lib­er­ty