Archive for 2011

…I Feel a Dis­tur­bance in the Force

Guy, in Star Wars’ Em­per­or voice: Oh, I do be­lieve the weapons on this bat­tle sta­tion are ful­ly op­er­a­tional.
Girl: That means you have an erec­tion, does­n’t it?

–At­lantic Cen­ter, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Je­sus Jon

Hey, Be­ing Fat Is My Per­for­mance Art!

Fat hobo to skin­ny home­less artist: Can you spare some change so I can get some­thing to eat?
Skin­ny home­less artist: Are you fuck­ing kid­ding me?

–33rd St & Park Ave

The Ter­ror­ists Did Win

Guy to la­dy: So, there are snipers on your roof?
La­dy to guy: Sigh… yeah.

–45th & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: Seth

That’s One Of Our Songs!

Hobo, ap­proach­ing mu­si­cians: Hey, guys, what are you up to tonight?
Band mem­ber: We just played a show here.
Hobo, walk­ing away mum­bling: I ain’t gonna get no pay from damn mu­si­cians…

–Out­side Cakeshop, Lud­low

Over­heard by: THA

So Old, It Says “Made in USA”

Woman #1: Well, when we were at that thrift store…
Woman #2: Not thrift! Vin­tage! It used to be thrift; now it’s vin­tage! But it’s still old, bitch! It’s old!


Over­heard by: Bri­an L.