Archive for 2011

Thanks for the Busi­ness! –Your Ed­i­tors

Drunk girl #1: I feel like if any of these train peo­ple were lis­ten­ing to our con­ver­sa­tion right now, it would be hys­ter­i­cal­ly con­fus­ing.
Drunk girl #2: We should talk loud­er.

–D Train

…And Buy Me More Fries

Asian girl: You guys still aren’t talk­ing?
Asian guy: Nope.
Asian girl: Be­cause you threw the fries at him?
Asian guy: Yeah.
Asian girl: But I thought you were go­ing to apol­o­gize.
Asian guy: I was, but now I just think it’s fun­ny, so I’m go­ing to try and get him to apol­o­gize.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Oof

To Be Fair, That’s His Name.

Large Caribbean woman yelling at 5‑year-old son: What the fuck are you do­ing? You’re too fuck­ing close to the fuck­ing street. A fuck­ing car is go­ing to hit you. Give me your hand. Give me yo’ hand. You lit­tle fag­got! I told you to give me your fuckin’ hand! (child takes her hand) Fuck­ing fag­got…

–The Bronx

Over­heard by: Pro­fes­sor Blan­co

Here’s Pres­i­dent Clin­ton to Ex­plain

Girl #1: As long as I be liv­ing my life by the ten com­mand­ments, I’m good.
Girl #2: Did­n’t you fuck with Tan­ishi­a’s man?
Girl #1: Bitch, every­body knows the ones bout sex don’t count!

–1st Ave & 48th St

Over­heard by: Claire

I’ll Ex­plain on the Way

Daugh­ter: Where are we go­ing?
Moth­er: We’re go­ing to the 2nd Ave deli on 3rd Ave.

–44th b/w7th & 8th

Joe Cock­er: That’s Not What I Meant!

Lit­tle girl: I nev­er get sweaty in a hat! I al­ways get sweaty in my clothes!
Mom: Fine, you can go naked wear­ing a hat.

–Park Slope, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: MPW

Trans­la­tion: You Bore Me

Tat­tooed girl to boyfriend look­ing at iPhone: What are you read­ing?
Tat­tooed boyfriend: Tips on knife sharp­en­ing.
Tat­tooed girl: Why?
Tat­tooed boyfriend: I have var­ied in­ter­ests.

–Bar­cade, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: A‑cakes

Amy’s Curds Get in Her Whey

Girl: Do you smell some­thing weird?
Friend: Yeah… I’m to­tal­ly cot­tage- cheesing down south. Sor­ry, I’ll spray some per­fume.

–Hud­son Ho­tel

Is­n’t That Al­ways the Way?

Col­lege stu­dent #1: I guess he’s at­trac­tive.
Col­lege stu­dent #2: He’s re­al­ly hot. (pause) Too bad he’s gay.
Col­lege stu­dent #1: He did­n’t used to be like that.
Col­lege stu­dent #2: He did­n’t?
Col­lege stu­dent #1: No, it start­ed when he went to France.

–Barnard El­e­va­tor

Over­heard by: France Will Do That To You