Archive for June, 2012

Or Was That Casablanca?

Guy, noticing Matthew Broderick walking by: He's that guy. You know. In that movie. The one where they skip school.
Girl: Um…
Guy: You know, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Girl, pausing: Will Farrell?

–W 11th St

Overheard by: Noel

To Flushing, but Still

Five-year-old on very crowded subway car: Ewww mommy, it stinks!
Mom: I know, honey, it's New York. That's why we're moving.

–A Train

Next: Birthers

High school girl to friend: I know he lying!
Confused female friend: How?
High school girl: Cuz I know a liar from a truther… That's how!

–McDonald's, The Bronx

Overheard by: Ange

Mama Had a Life Before You, Maxwell

Mother: Now you get to sit in one of these cool chairs, and you put your head back and get shampooed!
Child: No! I don't want that!
Mother: Okay, can I talk to you for a minute? Mama does this all the time. And it's nice, because your head is back, no water gets into your eyes at all. Or on your face. Okay?
Child: Okay. (pause) I say no.

–Scott J Salon, 114th & Broadway

Taint on My Diet, Amy

Female teen #1: You're not a girl until you get your (points to her crotch) waxed.
Female teen #2: I was thinking of getting my ass crack waxed.
Female teen #1: Yeah, that shit is hairy. You've got to start when your 7 or 8 to tame it.
Female teen #2: Wanna fry?

–5 Train

And Hold the Salad?

Effeminate guy: Can I have the corn salad please, with no corn?
Waiter: Sure!

–Taza Cafe, Brooklyn Heights

Wednesday One-Linterventions

Woman outside a Subway restaurant on cell: Hi, this is Erica*. I met you on the plane to rehab.

–38th St & 7th Ave

College guy: I've always wanted to try a roofie.

–116th & Broadway

20-something hot girl to friend: I'm pretty sure it was drug money; I took it anyway.

–Restaurant, Apartment 134

Teenager to friends: When he was a teenager, he got all this money from the government because his mother was this amazing drug addict.

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Timeless Drifter

Wednesday U.N.-Liners

Loud guy, comfortingly: Listen, you shouldn't be embarrassed that you're Polish.

–14th St & University

Woman on the train: And then he said, "ciao bella" and I was like, "I don't speak French, you idiot."

–Penn Station

Exasperated girl on cell to boyfriend sitting next to her: I'm trying to tell him we'll get there early but he's not listening, he just keeps making those frenchy sounds at me.

–Bus from New York to Montreal

Guy to his friends: He reminds me of Stalin. (pause) You know, that Russian guy who always cusses at people.

–72nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Fancy

Wednesday M4M-Liners

40-something guy to 30-something woman: Your husband's kinda gay.

–30th Ave & 30th St

Overheard by: Ferna

Girl, after being told that every guy at NYU is gay: Every guy in New York is gay!

–Barnard College

Average-looking guy to flamboyantly dressed guy: I got fat, but you got gay.

–West Village

Overheard by: Ian

Mom to young child: No, he was just pretending to be gay, to trick her!

–15th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Lotte