Archive for August, 2012

Al­though “Cat­nip High­way” Has a Nice Ring to It

Fe­male mu­se­um em­ploy­ee: Cat­nip?
Male mu­se­um em­ploy­ee: Yeah, cat­nip. It’s a plant.
Fe­male mu­se­um em­ploy­ee: Oh, yeah, I knew that. Just that it sound­ed like a snack.
Male mu­se­um em­ploy­ee: Yeah, right… like in “Look, a Her­shey’s cat­nip”, huh?

–The Met

Over­heard by: George Carsto­cea

Face­book Style

Young thug kid #1: Yo, I ain’t play­ing with you, son. I’m se­ri­ous, you gonna get it!
Young thug kid #2: Nah, son. Chill, I ain’t snitch on him, son. Ask Urie, he knows him bet­ter.
Urie: Nah, nig­ga, don’t put me in this shit, nig­ga… but he gonna get poked.

–39th St & 47th

What? Too Late?

Guy hit­ting on woman: So where are you from?
Ob­vi­ous­ly Chi­nese woman: Chi­na.
Guy: Get ready for those Olympics!

–1 Train

Over­heard by: LSB

You Won’t Be Breath­ing For­ev­er, Ei­ther

Old­er man in base­ball cap to friend: I got­ta find me a girl, I don’t wan­na still be get­ting in­to trou­ble when I’m six­ty.
Friend: Yeah.
Old­er man in base­ball cap: Cause I ain’t gonna be a junkie for­ev­er.

–Brook­lyn

Reg­u­lar Dell Move­ments Are Es­sen­tial

IT Geek #1, dur­ing lunch break: Oh, yo! I need to ask you some­thing. What’s the most com­put­ers you ever moved in a day?
IT Geek #2: In a day? Oh, man…
(rest of IT geeks anx­ious­ly await an­swer)

–Ful­ton & Cliff

Over­heard by: Li­Aps

Sounds Like a Lose/Lose

Guy #1, run­ning from next sub­way car: Hold it, hold it! I wan­na stop the train! Fuckin bitch, she’s look­ing for trou­ble.
Guy #2: If he stops this train he’s look­ing for trou­ble!

–6 Train

Over­heard by: S. Don­ic­ce

Con Fu­sion Cui­sine

Man: What kind of food is Asian fu­sion?
Girl: We serve Japan­ese and Malaysian cui­sine.
Man: So, like Chi­nese food?
Girl: No, Japan­ese and Malaysian food.
Man: Is Malaysia in Japan?
Girl: No, they’re sep­a­rate coun­tries.
Man: What do they speak? Chi­nese?
Girl: No, they have their own lan­guages.
Man: So what’s the food like?
Girl: Here’s the menu.
Man: What is this, sushi?
Girl: We have sushi and var­i­ous cooked dish­es, like cur­ries.
Man: Do you have fried rice?
Girl: No.
Man: Oh. I want Chi­nese food. God bless! (leaves)

–Asian Fu­sion Restau­rant, Bay Ridge