Archive for August, 2012

Although “Catnip Highway” Has a Nice Ring to It

Female museum employee: Catnip?
Male museum employee: Yeah, catnip. It’s a plant.
Female museum employee: Oh, yeah, I knew that. Just that it sounded like a snack.
Male museum employee: Yeah, right… like in “Look, a Hershey’s catnip”, huh?

–The Met

Overheard by: George Carstocea


Facebook Style

Young thug kid #1: Yo, I ain’t playing with you, son. I’m serious, you gonna get it!
Young thug kid #2: Nah, son. Chill, I ain’t snitch on him, son. Ask Urie, he knows him better.
Urie: Nah, nigga, don’t put me in this shit, nigga… but he gonna get poked.

–39th St & 47th


What? Too Late?

Guy hitting on woman: So where are you from?
Obviously Chinese woman: China.
Guy: Get ready for those Olympics!

–1 Train

Overheard by: LSB


You Won’t Be Breathing Forever, Either

Older man in baseball cap to friend: I gotta find me a girl, I don’t wanna still be getting into trouble when I’m sixty.
Friend: Yeah.
Older man in baseball cap: Cause I ain’t gonna be a junkie forever.

–Brooklyn


Regular Dell Movements Are Essential

IT Geek #1, during lunch break: Oh, yo! I need to ask you something. What’s the most computers you ever moved in a day?
IT Geek #2: In a day? Oh, man…
(rest of IT geeks anxiously await answer)

–Fulton & Cliff

Overheard by: LiAps


Sounds Like a Lose/Lose

Guy #1, running from next subway car: Hold it, hold it! I wanna stop the train! Fuckin bitch, she’s looking for trouble.
Guy #2: If he stops this train he’s looking for trouble!

–6 Train

Overheard by: S. Donicce


Con Fusion Cuisine

Man: What kind of food is Asian fusion?
Girl: We serve Japanese and Malaysian cuisine.
Man: So, like Chinese food?
Girl: No, Japanese and Malaysian food.
Man: Is Malaysia in Japan?
Girl: No, they’re separate countries.
Man: What do they speak? Chinese?
Girl: No, they have their own languages.
Man: So what’s the food like?
Girl: Here’s the menu.
Man: What is this, sushi?
Girl: We have sushi and various cooked dishes, like curries.
Man: Do you have fried rice?
Girl: No.
Man: Oh. I want Chinese food. God bless! (leaves)

–Asian Fusion Restaurant, Bay Ridge