Busi­ness-ca­su­al guy: Damn, that bitch was fine!
Busi­ness-ca­su­al girl: Oh, shut your pimp hole, Jer­ry.

–A Train

Over­heard by: whit

Katie Couric: So ap­par­ent­ly the kids have this new thing called ‘friends with ben­e­fits.’

–Restau­rant, Rock­e­feller Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Wait­er dude

Girl #1: God, the 6 train takes so long to come!
Girl #2: I know! Last week the n train took for­ev­er be­cause some­one tired to com­mit sui­cide in front of it.
Girl #1: That’s so lame… If i was go­ing to com­mit sui­cide, I would­n’t do it on the n train…

–6 Train

Over­heard by: ly­on

Busker, col­lect­ing mon­ey af­ter singing: Hey, thanks man! Where are you from? Chi­na?
Pas­sen­ger: Aus­tralia, mate!
Busker: Aus­tralia by way of Chi­na?

–6 Train

Over­heard by: Emi­ly

Tar­get em­ploy­ee #1: What’s an ox?
Tar­get em­ploy­ee #2: It’s a ma­ma dog.

–Tar­get, At­lantic Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Al­i­son

Nan­ny to four-year-old child play­ing in pre­tend taxi: So where are you tak­ing me to­day?
Child: Umm… I don’t know yet.
Nan­ny: Okay, can you take me to the zoo?
Child: Okay, let’s go to the Bronx zoo!
Nan­ny: Okay, let’s go to the Cen­tral Park zoo in­stead!

–Ap­ple­seeds

Mom: The strap on my Swatch watch is bro­ken again.
Daugh­ter: You have two Pateks and a Rolex. Why do you give such a crap about that Swatch watch?

–14th St & Broad­way

Boy #1: How are the Chili’s restau­rants around here?
Boy #2: They’re know for them.

–7th Ave & Grove St.

Over­heard by: Surf­beaver

Six-year-old Asian kid, to moth­er: Will you open this for me?
Mom: (ig­nores him)
Kid: Will you open this for me? WILL YOU OPEN THIS FOR ME? FUCK!

–F Train

Blonde: So, how long is the flight to San Diego?
Brunette: I think it’s like three hours… Yeah, it’s three hours. I leave at three and land at six.
Blonde: Oh, that’s it?
Brunette: Yeah, it would be quick­er if I did­n’t have a lay­over.

–Mur­ray Hill