Business-casual guy: Damn, that bitch was fine!
Business-casual girl: Oh, shut your pimp hole, Jerry.

–A Train

Overheard by: whit

Katie Couric: So apparently the kids have this new thing called ‘friends with benefits.’

–Restaurant, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Waiter dude

Girl #1: God, the 6 train takes so long to come!
Girl #2: I know! Last week the n train took forever because someone tired to commit suicide in front of it.
Girl #1: That’s so lame… If i was going to commit suicide, I wouldn’t do it on the n train…

–6 Train

Overheard by: lyon

Busker, collecting money after singing: Hey, thanks man! Where are you from? China?
Passenger: Australia, mate!
Busker: Australia by way of China?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Emily

Target employee #1: What’s an ox?
Target employee #2: It’s a mama dog.

–Target, Atlantic Center

Overheard by: Alison

Nanny to four-year-old child playing in pretend taxi: So where are you taking me today?
Child: Umm… I don’t know yet.
Nanny: Okay, can you take me to the zoo?
Child: Okay, let’s go to the Bronx zoo!
Nanny: Okay, let’s go to the Central Park zoo instead!

–Appleseeds

Mom: The strap on my Swatch watch is broken again.
Daughter: You have two Pateks and a Rolex. Why do you give such a crap about that Swatch watch?

–14th St & Broadway

Boy #1: How are the Chili’s restaurants around here?
Boy #2: They’re know for them.

–7th Ave & Grove St.

Overheard by: Surfbeaver

Six-year-old Asian kid, to mother: Will you open this for me?
Mom: (ignores him)
Kid: Will you open this for me? WILL YOU OPEN THIS FOR ME? FUCK!

–F Train

Blonde: So, how long is the flight to San Diego?
Brunette: I think it’s like three hours… Yeah, it’s three hours. I leave at three and land at six.
Blonde: Oh, that’s it?
Brunette: Yeah, it would be quicker if I didn’t have a layover.

–Murray Hill