Hipster to friend: I’m sorry hon, we can’t lift at Shoprite tonight. I just heard that Robbie got caught stealing candles at a cracker barrel.
–Staten Island Ferry
Yelling hobo, to nobody in particular: If you want to get robbed, go to Macy’s. Have your credit cards ready, they’ll swipe you!
Overheard by: Ken
Angry gap-toothed man waiting for light to change, to no one in particular: Maybe you motherfuckers will learn when we start robbing you!
–8th Ave & 26th St
Overheard by: Graceful Space
20-something woman on phone: What! They stole your vibrator. What the fuck are they going to do with that?
Overheard by: Hal