Archive for 2012

Remember Kathy Bates in About Schmidt?

Female partygoer: She had a lisp, she was fugly, she had a voice like a man, and she thought she was hot.
Male partygoer: That last part was strange.

–York Ave & 75th St

Overheard by: Bryan

If Berlin Had a Spin-Off Group?

Suit to another: I am so over the whole East Berlin thing.
Suit #2: Oh my god! I am too.


Overheard by: Liliah

You, Sir, Have the Soul Of a Poet

Black hobo on park bench, to young woman passing: Yo nigga, you so fine I wanna suck a fart right out yo ass.
Young woman: Thank you.

–Bryant Park

Well Played, France. Well Played.

Stoned girl #1, pointing at Chrysler building: Wow that’s the Empire State Building!
Stoned girl #2: No you idiot, that’s the Statue of Liberty!

–35th & 3rd

Overheard by: Julianna

…Now Jump in My Car!

Boyfriend: Yo, what do you know about Hasselhoff?
Girlfriend, furrowing eyebrows in confusion: As in David Hasselhoff?
Boyfriend: Yeah, David. Where’s he at now? Is he still alive?
Girlfriend: That’s a pretty fucked up question. Why are you asking me this random ass question? I was just talking to you about my dying aunt.
Boyfriend: I already told you that sucks about your aunt. So where do you think he’s living these days if he’s still alive? I want to ask him where he buys his leather jackets.
Girlfriend: LA or something, probably. Why do you keep asking me this shit?
Boyfriend: Cause I want to know where he buys his fucking jackets. He’s kinda good looking, you know?
(girlfriend looks perplexed)
Boyfriend: I swear I’m not gay.

–Coffee Shop, 35th Ave, Queens

Overheard by: Roger L

To Be Fair, at Least the Percentages Add Up.

Cooper student to friend: There’s really only three types of students at cooper union. 40% are asian, 30% are Jewish, and 30% are American.
Friend to student: Because Asians and Jews aren’t American?!

–Cooper Union

Overheard by: Cooper say What?!


Student in computer science class: Uggh, teacher, my code poofed.
Teacher: It… poofed?
Student: Yeah, like a ninja.

–Bard High School Early College, Queens

What We Have Here Is a Failure Not to Communicate

Black guy with big glasses to three girls: Don’t talk to me! You’re talkin’ to me?
Girls: We’re not talking to you! What are you talkin’ about?
Guy: I’m just sayin’ don’t talk to me! Don’t talk to me.
Girls: Who are you talkin’ to? We’re not talking to you!
Guy: I’m talking to who ever wants to listen!

–City Tech, Jay St

Overheard by: MLS