Archive for 2012

Actually… (Not Safe for Work)

Girl #1: Where’s my fucking pen?
Girl #2: You have a pen for fucking?

–Bard High School Queens


Mr. Tyson Seems to Have Crossed the Road

Chick #1: Guess who else is a vegan? Mike Tyson!
Chick #2: The wrestler? But he has his own chicken company!
Chick #1: Yeah, but they’re not his chickens.

–Delancey & Orchard

Overheard by: Chad Elwell


Although “Catnip Highway” Has a Nice Ring to It

Female museum employee: Catnip?
Male museum employee: Yeah, catnip. It’s a plant.
Female museum employee: Oh, yeah, I knew that. Just that it sounded like a snack.
Male museum employee: Yeah, right… like in “Look, a Hershey’s catnip”, huh?

–The Met

Overheard by: George Carstocea


Facebook Style

Young thug kid #1: Yo, I ain’t playing with you, son. I’m serious, you gonna get it!
Young thug kid #2: Nah, son. Chill, I ain’t snitch on him, son. Ask Urie, he knows him better.
Urie: Nah, nigga, don’t put me in this shit, nigga… but he gonna get poked.

–39th St & 47th


What? Too Late?

Guy hitting on woman: So where are you from?
Obviously Chinese woman: China.
Guy: Get ready for those Olympics!

–1 Train

Overheard by: LSB


You Won’t Be Breathing Forever, Either

Older man in baseball cap to friend: I gotta find me a girl, I don’t wanna still be getting into trouble when I’m sixty.
Friend: Yeah.
Older man in baseball cap: Cause I ain’t gonna be a junkie forever.

–Brooklyn